Lucent

chapter 1: dead

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     A pair of bluish yet very dark eyes observe mine with sorrow; shattered and glistening. Those eyes are familiar to me, but yet here I stand, not being able to recognize them; to acknowledge that they belong to me now. Those dim eyes had been ones that just a couple of days ago, sparkled with bliss and joy. Delighted over having ice cream while driving home from school. Blessed when my bed's warmth enveloped me every night, welcoming me into a full night's sleep right away as I laid my head on my squishy pillow. Excited over the slightest thing, such as movie nights, or even morning greetings from the one person I only had trusted my life with.

     Now she is gone.

     As I gaze through the airplane's dusty window, my mind can't help but wander to all those memories I had with her. Because now they will forever rest in that way, as memories and not as vivid moments I adored having with her. I wonder where she could be now. For the past hours that she's been gone, I've imagined her up in the sky, looking after me still despite the fact that it's only been less than twelve hours. More specifically, eleven hours and fifty-five minutes. I doubt I will ever be able to forget that particular and precise hour. That memory will surely come and haunt me at night, it is unavoidable for that not to happen. I just wish that with some time, they will just go away and stop terrorizing me.

     I take a swift look at my green and neat watch, hugging my left wrist and covering up a recent burn I had no idea I had, and as it shows four in the afternoon sharp, I let out a shaky breath.

     It's already been an hour since the plane took off from Dublin's Airport, only six left to land in Toronto, Canada. Just the thought of getting there makes me shiver even though it's not cold inside these walls.

     I spin my head around and look around the people sitting in this plane and examine them. I realize, you really don't know anything about what's going on inside someone's head. There could be someone on board who's mum is in hospital because of cancer or someone who's having financial or economic problems within their family; someone who works tirelessly to give their family basic needs or someone that had a family member who just passed away.

     Just like me.

     I try to push the thought away again. It has become a cycle since it happened; I can't help but let my mind go and torture me with these thoughts, and although I have spent over thirty-six hours without her, I still haven't been able to process it through. It's just not sinking.

     The stewardess passes by my side and I quickly turn to look at my Social Worker so she can order some food for me to eat. I'm starving and I really need some food placed in my stomach soon.

     I'm traveling with Hannah, a Social Worker, in this plane. She is accompanying me, as I'm fourteen years old now, still a minor so they believed I'm not old enough to travel by myself. I believe it was because they want to make sure my new life will be great. It took a couple of hours for the Social Services to discover who's my new guardian now, but at least they succeeded with it and his response was positive. So he is taking me in. The only thing really that I did not find pleasant, is that they live in Canada, way far from my home back in Ireland. I have been living between green landscapes for over two years now. I did not have that many friends and my truly best friend was my former guardian, but just having so many changes in my life in less than thirty-six hours is getting overwhelming. And most of them are just causing me a big headache right now considering the fact that they are frightening.