Con Brio: Todd and Ian's story

12) Ian

Ian can kick himself the second he says it, but the words just slipped out in all of the excitement of being here. 
He's relaxed a little now that he's gotten some proper practice in, now that they're free and it's just the two of them. Is that why he just blurted it out when he saw the, admittedly gorgeous, building? 
Wow, Todd. I love it. 
Todd seemed to freeze for just a moment, and now he's feeling more awkward than before. Blokes don't say that to blokes, do they? But then Todd smiles widely. 
"Awesome. I love it too! Let's go see this organ then. I think it's Dutch, or something. I read a little about it online. Wouldn't it be awesome to play here, one day?"
Ian almost scoffs. Because yeah, he can very well imagine Todd playing here. Eddy and Brett too. But there's no way he can see a future where he himself would ever get invited to a beautiful place like that. No way. And even if he would be, it would only be because he's tagged along with the others. Or because there's never enough violists. Right? 
"Yeah, it would." he says softly as he checks the busy street before they cross. 
He steps on the pavement and wills Todd's easy confidence to rub off on him, like he has willed so many times before. Todd is his anchor. 

They walk around the concert hall with a guide who speaks English, and Ian relaxes more. It's beautiful, inside and out, and the organ is indeed massive. He stares at the biggest pipes in awe as someone plays a few chords on it. Then he follows the group around the building as he cranes his neck at all the details. 

"So, you want to go grab something to eat that's not hotpot?" Todd asks as they leave. Ian grins. 
"Sure. Whatever you want."
"I want pizza. I mean, they sell pizza everywhere in the world, right?"
"I think they do."
Ian loves pizza. As Todd knows very well. 
They slide into a booth, the same as booths in pizza places everywhere and order their favourite. Four cheese pizza. 
It's so comfortable, being with just Todd. Todd doesn't mind when he's quiet, he just sits opposite him and tells him stories, or just and smiles at him. And it's beautiful, to be here with him. Ian really is the luckiest guy in the world, to get to have this with him. 
He shouldn't forget that, ever. 
He eats his pizza with gusto - courtesy of breakfast and lunch having been just some rice roll thing from a food stall - and after they order some tiramisu. 

It could almost be a date, this. Two people in a corner booth by the window, eating tiramisu and laughing, chatting, being quiet. Comfortable. Ian pictures what it would be like if they had one portion of tiramisu, two spoons. He could feed Todd a mouthful, Todd would smile, and take his hand on the table, rub his thumb over the top of his hand. 
Ian shakes his head hard. This is so not a route he needs to go down. Todd will have that one day, he's sure. Just as sure as he is that it won't be with him. 
And he'll be happy for him. 
"So, you ready to get out of here?"
Ian smiles manfully. To be honest, he's not. He could sit here forever. But that's not something he can say. 
"Of course. We should probably head back, the guys will be coming home as well."
"Yeah. I saw a supermarket on the way here. Maybe we can see if we can find some alcohol? I got some movies on my laptop we can watch later."
"That sounds good."