The Summer I Turned Pretty: Season 2

Peace

Jeremiah and I wasted most of the afternoon at the beach, only returning once the sky began to turn a dusty violet colour and the sun dipped beneath a wispy blanket of clouds. I stepped into the kitchen, my hair dripping wet. Laurel gave me a warning glance.

'Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes Belly, I suggest you take a shower beforehand.' 

I rolled my eyes. 'I'm 18 mom, I don't need you to monitor my hygiene habits.' 

Susannah resisted a smile and Laurel placed her hands up in mock surrender. 'Okay, little miss all-grown-up - message received.' 

We both laughed reluctantly, and I made my way upstairs. Despite my mother's patronising tone, I obeyed her orders by indulging in a long, steaming hot shower. Once I was finished, I slipped into a dress I'd bought on a shopping trip with Taylor a week prior. It was a baby blue colour, slightly out of my usual style, but Taylor had said that the colour complimented my skin tone. 'This will one thousand percent get Conrad to notice you Bells'. She had remarked, whilst admiring me in the cramped Urban Outfitters changing room. 

I was acutely aware, when brushing through my damp hair, and applying the smallest amount of mascara on my eyelashes, that I was still doing all of this for Conrad. It was stupid when I really thought hard about it. He shouldn't still be the centre of my universe, not after all this time. I pushed past the influx of intrusive thoughts and made my way downstairs. As I wondered into the living room, Steven looked at me, skeptically.

'Belly why are you so dressed up for a family dinner?' He questioned, scornfully. 'Did you get your schedules mixed up? This isn't a house party you know.' He then laughed, expecting the Fisher boys to join in. Jeremiah did, weakly. But to my relief, Conrad didn't. 

I felt my entire face burn crimson red. Why did Steven still feel the need to humiliate me, after all of these years? It didn't matter how old I was, one word out of his petulant little mouth was always enough to make me feel like a silly, naïve child again. I swallowed my embarrassment.

'Maybe because I have a little self respect, Steven. Maybe because I want to make an ounce of effort to not look like I've been left in the wild for two weeks?' The venom in my tone took Steven by surprise. 

'Jesus Belly, you're so fucking sensitive sometimes. Are you on your period or something?' 

I inhaled sharply, Steven always pulled out the mensuration card when he really wanted to wind me up. I opened my mouth to spit back at him, when I was interrupted by no one other than Conrad.

'Steven.' He said gently, but not without a hint of authority in his voice, 'stop being such a dick.' He turned to face me. 'I think you look nice.' He held my gaze - it was enough to shut both my brother and I up. 

We all ventured towards the dining table, where Susannah had laid out a spread of delicious looking food. As we settled into our seats, everyone tucked into the meal and conversations  about the various things we'd all been up to since last Summer began. I found out that Susannah's treatment had been successful; Jeremiah was enjoying college and that next year, Conrad would be graduating. It was nice to be sat with them all again, observing the electric current of love that ran between Susannah and her boys. It all felt wonderfully normal. 

After dinner, I noticed Conrad slipping away and, without being too obvious, I followed suit. Stepping barefoot along the cool slate patio, I found him, sat on an outside chair, overlooking the pool. This time last year, he probably would've been smoking a cigarette. Today however, he was empty handed. I settled into the seat next to him.

'Thanks for standing up for me earlier,' I began, suddenly nervous. Sometimes it felt as though every sentence I uttered exposed the depth of my feelings towards him more and more. Conrad looked up to face me. 

'Steven can be a real asshole sometimes.' 

I could hardly disagree.

'I'm sorry I did such a shit job at staying in contact with you Bels.' He continued, sounding sincerely apologetic. I felt a pang of sympathy for him in that moment, because although it had hurt me to not hear from him, I'd always known that it wasn't an intentional act of cruelty. The bottom line is that Conrad is a kind person, sometimes he just doesn't know how to act on his impulses. 'It wasn't because I didn't want to speak to you, it was because Susannah was going through so much and I just didn't know how to talk to you properly about it. I guess in some fucked up way I was trying to protect you from it all.' 

I moved my chair to be closer to him, my hand reaching to find his in the dark. 'Conrad,' I began, taking a deep breath. 'Last Summer I was a total brat - I centred myself in a situation that had nothing to do with me.' As I spoke, I felt the weight of my words and the emotion behind them escalate, almost as if I hadn't been aware of how badly I'd needed to say such things until I'd started to speak.  'I know it's been a while since everything went down, but I've always felt like I owe you an apology for the childish way I behaved.' My voice trailed off as I suppressed the urge to cry. 

Conrad reached over and lifted my chin. Our eyes met. 'Oh Bels.' He said, his voice full of tenderness. 'You were kept in the dark for so long. It wasn't fair how badly I treated you - how were you meant to know?' 

I shrugged. 'If I had just looked beyond the end of my own nose...maybe then I could've seen that something larger was at play.' 

He shook his head and then pulled me into his arms. I leaned into him, feeling relieved that we'd finally managed to address the elephant in the room. 

'Let's just leave all of that crap in the past, ok?' He murmured and I nodded in agreement. 

'Please just know that you can talk to me Conrad.' I added as a finishing touch to an otherwise wholesome conversation. His hand moved up my arm, and he gently squeezed my shoulder.

'Of course Bels, any time.' 

I smiled, burying my face in the warmth of his hoodie. 'It's so good to be back.' 

Conrad chuckled, and then in one heart-flipping motion, kissed the top of my head. 

'I can only agree.'