Getting back to "Normal" | Rhekker

Chapter 1- Just a scapel

"And we will find, in no time, who had access to it" Lathem tells the two doctors.
Ava feels panic risking in her throat, her head feels as though it swells under the pressure.
"That's great news" She tremors out as her breathing shallows.

Did I do this?

Did I give him the inslin?

"Yes" Lathen nods, not spotting the change in Ava's behaviour.
"The police seem confident that they should wrap this up quickly, which means you two can stop accusing one another and my department can get back to normal" he says sharply.
Lathem doesn't see the waves of anxiety running through Ava, making her sick to her stomach.
Lathem doesn't see the subtle gaze Connor sends her way, noticing her breath and emotions change. His blue eyes turned to ice from his hatered for Ava, hers full of terror, like a deer in the headlights of his gaze.

Sheer terror comes over Ava's face as she keeps eye contact with Connor, falling apart under his gaze. She hopes deep down, somewhere he still has some love for her.
Maybe it's still there, but then Ava remembers the saddening truth. Connor Rhodes never loved me, I was just his rebound from Robyn.

"Ava?" It comes more as a question then a call, he's unsure of what he's just seen. She turns her head away, unable to stay under his eyes any longer. It's over, he never loved her, after everything she did for him.

Ava stumbles away down the hall, a suffocating feeling rising in her throat as footsteps storming after her. Connors chasing her, he knows.
Ava runs to the nearest OR, the one sanctuary she had in this cold building, safe and familiar under the artificial blue light. She feel like a rabbit, trapped in its burrow by the fox it was outsmarted by. Only this rabbit risked its live and gave all its love to this fox, and now he's her only chance at escape.

"Ava" he says again, more certain this time, more stern. She looks back into his eyes, the same eyes she found love and a new life in, now stoned over.
"Give me one hour to get to O'Hare, one hour and you'll never see me again" she breaths desperately.

"No" he says shortly, she already knew that would be his answer.

Something deep inside of Ava knows she isn't making it out of this room, unless it's on his terms. Everything in this room is so ugly, theirs no love anymore, just her fear and his hate.

"I did it for you" She smiled sickly, locking her jaw, the ugly truth behind everything. The background to every dession she make, her love for Connor Rhodes. How she loved him, loves him.

"Ava, come on"

She can see it on his face that he knows something is going to happen, but he doesn't know what. Ava turns to the table behind her, set out for her next patient. Her perfect solution shining in the light up to her, her old friend.
Her hand reaches for it, gripping it as naturally as a pencil, running her finger down its back.

Somehow I knew I would end like this, I just thought I'd be alone. Do it in my own time.

"We could have been so happy together" she smiles bitterly at him. Connor steps back in fear? Or shame, she can't really tell.
"You ruined it all" She tells him, desperate to get rid of any remaining love he may have for her to make this process easier.
Connor shakes his head as if he's about to interject.

I get to make the decisions for once, I get the last word.

"You really are an ungrateful prick" she spits at him, wincing in panic as she digs the scalpel into her throat. Tears burn her eyes as she feels Connors hands on her neck and the scalpel slip from her grasp.
"AVA, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO" he rushes, easing her onto the ground.
Tears spill out of Ava's eyes, No, no, no, stop it, it hurts
"Help, help, I need help!" Connor shouts out the door as ava's vision fails her, turning the room into a blur.
Ava can feel Connors fingers in her neck as he tries to stop her bleeding. His free hand slips into her, the one comfort Ava has.

I'm sorry Connor, I'm sorry this is all my fault. I love you

"I want you to hold me like you used to, I want it to stop hurting Connor" Ava thought desperately as the OR doors bang open. Ava head tilts to one side as her vision goes dark still weakly gripping Connors hand.

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts

Beth rushes in, hearing the panic in Connors voice.
"Dr. Lathem" she sherriks out the door as he comes rushing in.
"She sliced her carotid, do we have a prepared OR?"
"I'll, I'll bump my case" Dr. Lathem says, lifting up Ava's arm.
"Alright, pressure on the artery" Lathem reminds him
"1, 2, 3, let's Go!" They lift her up, Connor still squeezing her artery.
"Come on" Connor mutters to himself.

"I got fingers on the carotid but I'm losing her pulse"
"She's a resting, I'm going to open up the chest, knife"
"Marty she needs blood, Epi"
"I'm working as fast as I can" Marty says, fiddling with wires and bags.
Connor cuts away Ava's scrub top.
"Spreader" lathem says after cutting open her chest.

"Dr. Rhodes" comes over the intercom, Sharron had heard the distress in the OR.
"She tried to kill herself" he tells her flatly over his shoulder.
Sharron gasps in horror, watching intently from the window.
"Carotid clamps are on, Mart how much blood has she got?"
"Ten of units, ten of plasma"
"Alright it's now or never" Connor says calmly, "intrcardic epi"
Connor injects it into her heart as the machines around him start beeping. Everyone watches Ava's exposed heart, willing for it to start again.
"Fibrillating, anther round of epi"
He takes the second needle and injects it into her again.
Lathem leans in and starts pumping her heart with his hands.
"Paddles, charge to 20"
"Charging"
"Clear" he calls before shocking around her heart.
Still nothing.
"Come on, come on" Connor chants softly to himself, pumping her head with his own hands. The machines around her still bleep as Sharron tips her head in shame.
"Dr. Rhodes" Lathem says softly to him
"Come one, come on" Connor keeps pumping her heart.

"Dr. Rhodes she's gone" he tells him firmly.
Connor keeps pumping Ava's heart, all eyes in him.
"Connor, she's gone" he hears Ava sweet South Africa accent tell him softly, he can almost feel her hand on his arm.
Connor slowly pulls his hands out of her chest, looking up desperately to read the monitors.
Connor shakes his head in disbelief.
"Time of death; 16.22" Dr. Lathem calls, holding his bloodied hands out in front of him.