Chasing Rainbows (COMPLETED)(Gay/Lesbian/Transgender)

Chapter six Cady's POV

I'm in my bedroom and all I can think about is Anna. She's so bubbly and cute. Even through all of her perkiness, you can tell she's real. She's not some fake girl- she speaks from her heart and she cares about people.

That's why I might be crushing on her.

Not only is it the way her hair sweeps in front of her face, or the way a dimple appears when she smiles a certain way, or even the way her eyes light up when you even mention the word bacon- it's also the way she brightens up your day. And the way she commands attention without even doing anything. The way she smiles at you and can convince you to see things her way...

It's almost magical, what I feel for that girl. And we haven't even known each other a full day. How's that for love at first sight.

Well obviously I can't just 'love' her but I do like her. Now do I 'like like' her? That's up for questioning...lets just leave it at that.

I look at my watch and see that the lesson should be over right about now. My mom sometimes keeps the kids a little later than usual though- probably to lecture them. Or to show them something- I have no idea.

My mother says she wants me to take over one day but she just doesn't understand that I can't do that. There's simply no way. I mean- I'm a lesbian. And pretty damn proud of it. However my mom can't know- I'd be exiled from the family for all eternity. It may sound as though I'm being over dramatic but honestly you'd think differently if you knew my mother and the rest of my family. Compared to them my mom is like the Ellen of my family.

She's crazy with all of her religious talk, and her painful words. Every time she talks about how wrong the LGBT community is I can't help but mentally cringe. It hurts me so deeply that I literally become ill. I get sick to my stomach and my skin gets this weird burning sensation. When I was younger I convinced myself it was the blood boiling in my veins. To this day I feel that that is still pretty plausible.

It's sort of ironic that my mother wants me to continue teaching her religious beliefs and her views on homosexuality, when in reality I'd rather be doing the complete opposite. I want to debate against homophobia. I want to educate people on what is real and what is righteous. Not what the bible tells you.

My view might be pretty controversial but it's my view. That's the best part about it. You can't tell me that my view is wrong and I should fear God, and when I criticize your beliefs you can't tell me that I'm harming your religious freedom, or rather that I'm attacking it.

If anything we are both 'attacking' each other, so if you argue that then you're being a total hypocrite. And honestly no one would be attacking anything. We are just stating our opinions of each other's opinions to try to gain an understanding of something difficult to comprehend. At least that's how I see it...

I think of these things every waking moment of each day and I can't seem to put it down into words. And I can't find the guts to speak up.

I've just been stuck all of my life. I need to feel free... And I feel the only way to do that is to somehow disconnect from this place, and disconnect from my family.

But I can't do that. I have to stay here to help the kids. I feel in my heart that it's the right and just thing to do. They say follow your heart right?

I just have to swallow my pride for now, and help these kids at all costs.