Not smut!!! Weirdly enought fluf and angst.
jack manibald was currently filming for a vlog rn. more specifically, his summoning a mcwhopper at 3am challenge
"what's up jacknation! I am back with yet another 3 a m challenge. don't pee your pants this time!"
he started doing the ritual, speaking latin to summer the whoppa. hopefully it works this time so he doesn't have to clickbait peple.
the mc woppa started to feel it's ingrediates be created and brought together to create the perfect McWhoppa! Sensing it's bringing into the world, it was presented with a mostly bald 20 something old man. And god, was this mayo that surrounded it? How disgusting!
jack gaspeded loudly. it actually worked?!?! he gralped the mcwhopper, showing it to the camera
"look jacknation! the mcwhoppa has come to life!! now.. I must eat it. goodbye mcwhoppa, it was nice knowing you"
he brought the whopper up to his mouth, saliva falling onto it's deluctuois smooth buns. he couldn't wait to finish this samdwich!!
the McWhoppa quickly shifted it's lettuce to make makeshift hands and slapped the random balding man trying to devour it's sweet buns. In a deep, musky, clearly annoyed tone said "What the hell man?! You think you can just eats my bunions? Damn, take me out to dinner!"
jack manibald dropped the mcwhopper, terrified for his life
"y-you can talk?!?"
he sighed, maybe he shouldn't of done that
"sorry, I've always had a problem of killing people close to me. when I was five, I accidentally pushed my dad down a flight of stairs. my mom hated me ever since, I didn't understand. I was just a kid. I still feel horrible about it though. when I was 13, my mom got fed up of my sister. she cooked her alive and I had to eat her. I still can't eat steak to this day. everyone always talks about how I'm just a cishet white male and I'll never understand trauma. but that's a lie. I've been through so much, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to recover. all I wanted was a happy family, but now I'm alone. I'll never have a good family and it's all my fault. god.. what am I doing? you don't deserve this. go home, just please don't tell anyone about this"
with another sigh jack ended the recording. he'll just have to clickbait his fans agian.
the McDonald's whopper and it's perfectly sculpted buns didn't how to deal with such deep trauma. And this is why we ask before trauma dumping!! Anyways- the McWhoppa was feel to leave, and so it did.
The whopper found itself on top of a 34 story tall building, looking out trying to find it's brothers and sisters. But while distracted by an older attractive man walking across the street below the whopper, the whooper slipped and fell....to it's cheesy, delicious, death.
jack manibald was the older attractive man that was walking across the street. he saw the mcwhopper on top of the building, instantly going to tell him to not kms because he's so hot. but he was too late. he fell to his knees, screaming to the clouds. someone called the cops on him because apparently a random balled guy sobbing about a mcwhopper in the middle of the street wasn't normal
1 month later
he was standing in front of the mcwhoppers grave, holding a bouquet of french fries
"im so sorry mcwhoppa. I've come to a realization. im deeply in love with you.. if only there was a way I could see you again"
he sighs once again, then a light bulb appears on top of his head. seriously is he okay?? are we sure he doesn't have schizophrenia or something?
"I know how to see you mcwhoppa, just you wait!"
the McWhoppa was touched hearing the random bald guy confess such weird feelings for the sandwhitch. "Oh please bald man! Don't do something so outrageous to see a lil old sNwhich again!" ( ngl that's the mcwhopperz rap name ) But alas, due to the mcwhopprmer being dead jack would never hear it's soft spoken words.
