Dan and Tommy's Story Volume 1: Camp Lady Of The Lake

Loneliness and Doubt

The boys spent the rest of the afternoon and evening mostly in silence or alone. Before Dan left, they avoided talking about what had happened a couple of hours earlier.

"I'm gonna go see if I can catch some dinner." Dan told him when he picked up his fishing rod and tackle box and set out down the beach. He didn't make it seem like he wanted company so Tommy stayed behind and fiddled around camp with a slightly uncomfortable glow in his eyes.

Tommy was so happy about being able to bring Dan some sexual satisfaction, he was equally proud to be Dan's first and that Dan was his first. He wore a frown below the glow because everything was shadowed by a huge cloud of doubt and distance between the two of them.

Did I ruin things? Tommy wondered repeatedly to himself and sometimes out loud to the emptiness around him. The fact that Dan seemed to be avoiding him now, the quick change in the vibe before Dan went off fishing, alone had Tommy feeling insecurities like he'd never felt before.

The shadows of the trees were getting longer across the beach, bringing in the cool Michigan night air so Tommy decided he should gather the night's firewood and stoke up the fire. He kept busy hoping to keep his mind from thinking the worst about Dan and the miles he felt from him. He knew by the growing fear and emptiness that it wasn't working.

As the sun sank farther below the trees the loneliness sank in deeper, Tommy looked back and forth along the beach hoping to see his friend walking up with a handful of fish and a proud smile. The beach remained dark and empty.

"He's been gone for hours" Tommy moaned into the darkness that was surrounding him. "I hope he doesn't regret it so much that he left me here!" The crackling fire did little to comfort him as time wore on.

It was getting harder to fend off the negative thoughts as the world around him grew colder, and darker. He was looking over the fire into the dark abyss of the lake when he heard sticks cracking behind him.

Startled, he turned but could only see darkness beyond the glow of the fire. "Hey" he spoke nervously into the darkness hoping it wasn't the LPDP. Luna Pier cops had a reputation for being dick heads and he wasn't supposed to be there, and he was so alone.

The darkness didn't reveal any of the secrets it held, for what seemed to Tommy like many long minutes. Adrenaline running through his veins made his shaking uncontrollable. In real time, however, Dan's figure appeared from the shadows within seconds of Tommy's call.

"Fuck dude, you scared the hell outta me! Where the hell have you been?" Tommy barked, barely holding back a flood of emotions within his trembling voice.

"Relax bro! I'm ok." Dan's voice was calm and soft throughout his reply.

Stinging tears started to leak from Tommy's eyes when he began to apologize. "I'm so sorry Dan! I don't know what came over me, I shou..."

"Stop!" Dan whispered. Continuing to keep a calm voice. "I needed some time to process everything." he continued while holding up a stringer with three perch dangling at the bottom. "And I caught dinner."

Dan told him about a spot about a half of a mile around the point where there were some fallen trees. He was able to get a little off the shore and cast to deeper water. He had got the first fish pretty quick after getting there and the second two close together just before he was about to give up and come back to camp.

"I needed to be alone for a while. I'm sorry I abandoned you like that." Dan put his hand up to stop his teary-eyed buddy's words before they came out. "You know my dad. My entire family. They're old school." He explained.

Dan went on telling Tommy that his parents would never understand, begrudging their catholic upbringing, their judgmental tendencies, and admitting that he believed they would disown him if he came home with a boyfriend.