Hell is Swell [bxb]

Chapter Fourteen~ Body

CHAPTER FOURTEEN– Chris' Crib

POV: Body

"What are you doing here?!" Grant asked, staring at Chris with wide eyes. It was a fair question. I would also want to know the answer if I was capable of curiosity.

Chris' eyebrow raised. "Bein' dead is what I'm doing. It sucks ass. I'm wondering what you guys are doing here."

"Being almost dead." I explained, "at least that's my thing. Grant and Renee are trying to make me stop being almost dead."
"Sounds lame."

"It is."

"How did you end up in Hell?" Renee asks, clutching her hand to her heart. "I thought the whole point of that angel shooting you was to save you from damnation."

Chris blew out a chuckle. "Oh yeah. Yeah. I started in Heaven, and then I saw God. He was a total beta– I called him out on it too. I was like 'woah, God. You're a beta lol'. Then, I blinked and here I was." He shrugged, gesturing around him.

"Wait, wait– God went against your soul's final judgment?"

"Hey, Red-headed nutbag. Word of the wise. There's no such thing as 'final' when you're living in eternity." He said, as if he were a motivational speaker. Then, he cracked a grin and threw a high-five in Grant's direction. "Up top!" Grant shrugged and returned his high-five. "God can, indeed, take backsies." Chris continues. "And apparently he doesn't like being called a beta."

"Yeah, for sure. He hates that." I agree, nodding.

"Sooo..." Chris frowns. "What exactly are you all doing here? I got the dying and all that, but that really doesn't explain shit. Where's the most annoying third of your trio? And why's the religious nut here?" He asks, jutting his head towards Renee.

I shrug. "Xavion stole my soul and took it with him into Hell. Now I don't have my soul. Grant's worried. I'll die without my soul. Renee feels like she can help. Yada yada."

"Feels like? We wouldn't be in Hell if not for me." Renee mutters.

"How did you get into Hell?" Chris asks, looking between us.

Grant shrugs. "Your one band friend. Belly."

"Bells?" Chris' brows furrowed.

"Yeah, her. Her witchy parent was able to get us here... through... demon connections..." Grant trails off. "Yeah..." He shakes his head. "When did my life become this?" He looks over at me. "I blame Ishmael."

"Ishy is 100% to blame for it." Renee agreed.

I crossed my arms at this. "Hey, my life was normal before you guys came around. So, I'm blaming you."

"I wouldn't exactly call falling from the sky 'normal.' But you do you, Ishy."

"Can I just be honest for a moment?" Grant asks.

"Yeah, go ahead."

"Nah."

"Ha, fuck no."

Grant gives Chris and me a dry expression for our respective responses. "Thanks, guys. Alright, proceeding honestly anyway... It's been a stressful ride these past few weeks. Homelessness, death, soul-stealing, and whatever weird thing Ishmael has for milk. It's been a lot. I can't even lie, Chris, I'm really glad to see you. We've been shooting in the dark a lot, and you being here feels like the universe finally gave us a break."

"Yeah, fuck the universe. What do they think they are?" I ask, "controlling everything? Like, can't you just make things funny all the time? I way prefer, like, when we were all getting up to our silly antics. This whole Hell thing has been too depressing. Feels like a whole genre change."