Letters to Her, Written by Me

1st Letter: How are you?

Hey. It's been a while. Well, it's just so ironic to think. We're always together but I rarely check on you. It's been a while since I asked about you. So, are you okay? Did you sleep well? You're not a victim of bully anymore, right? They stopped pointing out about your insecurities, right? 

I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. Trust me, I want to, but I... I was scared. Imagine, they were so big and tall and popular and a bunch of people that everyone will surely defend on. Just thinking about it, I can't help but to just stay quiet and do nothing, while you, trying your very best not to take seriously their harsh words. 

I know you were silently crying at night and I even know how hard you try not to cry in front of your family while having the supper. I know you badly want to shout it all, but just can't. I know you wanted to cry to them, you wanted to express your emotions to them, you wanted to explode, you wanted to explain yourself, you wanted to asked for some emotional help from them but despite of those desperations, you chose not to do anything. You chose to stay silent and go with the flow. You chose to pretend that everything were normal and just abandoned the pain and frustrations you all have inside. 

You chose that path because you know for a fact that no matter how hard you explain yourself, no one can and will willing to understand. You expected that they will comfort and hug you but instead, they criticized you. They blame you, they ignored you and especially, they manipulated you to think that you're just fooling yourself thinking that you carry those problems. That instead of making you calm, they even made you feel a burden and make the situation even more worse. 

I'm sorry that I didn't do something to protect you but honestly speaking, I was, I am and I will always be proud of you. You were strong, you remain stronger and you are strong today! Keep that spirit alive and don't ever let your guard down just like before and don't even try putting it down. 

Love, 

Me.