Chapter 10

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Meredith

"Meredith, for Heaven's sake, I have been looking for you everywhere," Her voice struck me in the back, and I hung my head for a moment before I turned to face Regina. She stopped to smooth her hair in the reflection of the window, most likely paranoid that a strand was out of place. When she was done, she looked over at me again, a hardness in her eyes, "Make sure that you all are keeping Prince Nikolai's room pristine. Anything he wishes, answer to it. We cannot afford to lose this one."

I nodded, "Of course." A made bed surely will wed.

"Stasia is just making it harder and harder on me, in every way possible," She vented to me, and I nodded along, "Does she not understand that this is the choice that is going to make or break her?"

I bit my tongue and nodded.

"Nikolai is gold, Meredith. Gold."

Pursing my lips and tightening the knot on the back of my apron, I noted, "The best choice that she could make."

"This is the best choice for you, Regina," I overheard someone say. I pressed myself against the wall, too afraid to look in the crack of the door. "Think of how she will weigh you down in all of this. Do you think the King will consider a woman who houses the girl who shamed one of his most beloved nobles in Boden? For his son? She is dead weight."

Regina sounded torn, "She—"

"Don't argue with me when you know I am right. There's no survival in taking in strays."

Silence.

"Regina, you have an opportunity to be Queen. Don't dismiss it because Meredith has written her life into the ground. Make the right choice."

I could hear the pity in her voice, "Mother, she made a mistake."

"Mistakes have consequences. Don't pay them for her."

Another pause.

"Think of all your father and I have sacrificed to get you seen by the Prince. This is your best chance. Think about what this means for your family. You do not want to shame us as she has shamed her parents, do you?"

I sucked in a breath and closed my eyes, feeling a tightness reach the back of my throat as Regina answered, "No, mother. I understand." I couldn't detect a tone in her voice.

"Good. The appropriate action is to get her hired as help somewhere," A pause and then, "Enough said."

Something wavered in her eyes for a moment and I knew she was reliving the same words her mother had said to her once. Just after that, they both broke through the doorway and realized that I heard everything. Back then, I swallowed the words I really wanted to say.

Mother knows best.

"She would be proud of you," I spoke honestly.

Regina's mother was a cold woman with an agenda—she wasn't afraid to choose for her daughter.

Even with her mother's wishes on my life, Regina fitted me under her wing and took me with her when she married the Prince—her mother didn't specify where I was to be hired. She did a brave thing for me, and I could never repay her. She put the best roof in Irklian over my head and provided a warm bed to sleep in when the worst of winter hit. She gave me the opportunity to love and care for her daughter after I lost mine.

It was just too hard to watch her turn into someone that I never imagined her to be.

She straightened, not allowing me to linger on the weakness that slipped out in that moment and she turned on her heel, making her way out the door. She stopped in the doorway and turned her head slightly, saying, "We live with what we choose, Meredith."

With that, she was gone.

The Regina I knew so well had been gone for a longtime, actually. The old warmth she used to bring in life was replaced with coldness and cruelty—the jewels and the dresses had weighed her down so much, they are not just a part of her person anymore.

Part of me wanted to blame him, because most of me didn't want to blame her.

Sometimes, I did—there were many years that I found myself thinking ill of her—wishing life would knock her back a couple of pegs. But, when I look at her, I still see the friend who I shared the laughter and tears of life with. I see the girl that was terrified to marry the future King—the woman who never saw herself to be good enough for him or her mother.

Regina was never perfect, but she always damned herself to strive for the idea of it.

I sat there and stared at the door that had been closed for a while, knowing her words were a given.

Choices determine life—whether they be fair or wicked.

The only difference between us was that I hadn't regretted one yet. 

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