Chapter 23

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It has been exactly seven days, fourteen hours, seventeen minutes, and ten, eleven, twelve seconds since Nikolai disappeared from the face of the earth.

With each second that goes by, I drive myself closer to the edge of going insane.

I am sitting in my Chemistry class, the seat next to me is empty. So empty.

The clock hands move insufferably slowly, it feels like I've been staring them down for eternity. As if the time until his arrival would shorten if I just watched them closely enough.

After Noah interrupted us in the storage room that night, Nikolai stormed out, leaving me without an explanation. I had stayed in there for a while so as not to raise suspicion.

Then I stepped out, going back to the dining hall. Neither Noah nor Nikolai had been anywhere to be found. I had told myself it was nothing. Everything was fine. I had laughed with my friends, danced for a bit, and then gone to bed.

The next day, Noah showed up for breakfast. Nikolai hadn't. When I had asked about him a few hours later, playing uninterested, all I had gotten was a vague He left. Family issues.

I had ached to ask more, to grab Noah by his shoulders and shake the information out of him. But I hadn't dared.

All I could do was wait, acting as if everything was normal. As if I weren't worried sick.

"June? Are you okay?"

I startle, the voice of Ms. Evans jerking me out of my thoughts. My head snaps forward to find my teacher standing in front of my table.

I clear my throat. "Yes, miss. Everything okay."

"Then why are you still sitting there like struck?", she asks gently.

"Why am I... what?", I ask confusedly and look around in the room. It's empty. Class is over. I make a silent oh and start to gather my stuff, thoroughly embarrassed.

"You know, if there's anything wrong—a teacher causing you problems, school stress, trouble with friends—you can always talk to me. I won't tell a soul."
Ms. Evans croaks her head.

I look up to her. Ms. Evans is the nicest teacher you'll ever find. I know she can keep a secret. She would try to help me. Maybe she even knows where he is...

I shoulder my back and get up from my stool.
"That is very kind of you, but I promise, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm just a little tired. Thank you for the offer, though."

Without waiting for her answer, I leave the room, not looking back. I can't talk to anyone. Not without telling them something first.

Something that I had promised to keep a secret.

***

Athletics practice is torture. It has been for the whole week.

Ever since I first put on a running shoe, I've been the best at what I do. I got used to the feeling of being extraordinary.

Now I suck.

The worst part is that I don't even care.

After another sprint against Olivia that I lose because I am distracted and missed the start, I stand next to the tracks, watching the basketball players run a few rounds as a warm-up.

By now, I should know better than to look for number 12. By now I should've learned that no one is going to catch me looking at him, winking at me, and then lifting up his shirt to wipe the sweat from his forehead, when in reality he just wants to tease me with his abs.

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