Did I ever imagine love
to be so all-encompassing?
Even when I acknowledged it to be
all-consuming...?
Oh no, I didn't.
But that didn't stop us
from being here today.
Did it, my enchantress?
It feels like I'm back in time by a few years. To the day when I was pacing, waiting for some news - some positive news - to reach us from behind the closed doors of the hut; if only to let me know that the threat to her life was gone.
It's the same place, the same people. Just my worries are much greater, my guilt much more intensified, as I feel it about something that I'd never even apprehended feeling it for.
Kanha places that same calming hand on my shoulder, but it does nothing to slow down the increasing tempo of my own hammering pulse, the sound of which cuts me off from any other sound of the outer world. Yet, it doesn't reduce the impatient hyperactivity of my senses - waiting to hear even a creak that indicates the opening of the darned closed door.
There's a scream. Not the one that makes hope bloom in my chest like the most colourful of flowers of the most poisonous of weeds; but the one that threatens to wrench my heart right out of my chest. Frightening, maddening and agonizing in the rawest of ways.
Kanha's gentle hand on my shoulder turns restraining, as he sees the unfamiliar fear beginning to manipulate the darkness out of the forbidden crevices of my mind. I myself try my best to not attempt to break the damn door open.
It would be so easy, and so relieving, the darkness whispers encouragingly, but I physically nod my head in negation.
I have given her my word to wait patiently till I hear the one cry that we're all awaiting. And I'll stay true to my word to her.
Well, not so much if she's in actual danger.
And I know that my subconscious is right. She's my first priority - the one person that even the darkness loves with its all. If any harm is to befall her, I frankly couldn't care any less about the rest of the world. It can all go down in shambles and cinders till she's safe.
I take a step towards the door and Kanha's other hand grips my upper arm. I turn to glare at him. He doesn't flinch, though. No one is as used to my flickering moods as him. Most definitely not her. I won't subject her to my own dark side very often.
His navy blue eyes glint with sincerity as he whispers to me, "She's alright."
I know he's not lying. No matter how queer this might sound, but because he's the other person who's heart is mortgaged to my enchantress, it's him that I trust the most in matters concerning her well-being.
Even after the Mathura incident. Ultimately, he only ever has her best in mind.
The two words do calm me down, but only fractionally, and that ember of any semblance of mental peace is doused completely as soon as another scream pierces the air. Every muscle in my body is strained, but I hold back, and keep repeating her words in my head, in a never-ending loop.
"You're not coming in till you're called.", her soft voice sounds stern, even in between the gasps of pain from the on-setting contractions, and I make sure that my grip on her hand is tighter than hers on mine, as I nod my head in a faint but firm affirmation.
YOU ARE READING
Veeryashukla
Fanfiction[This story doesn't go along the lines of the Mahabharata, not even initially. I have just borrowed the main characters and a few ideas from Ved Vyasa ji...] Certain incidents in his life tell Arjuna that he is 'special' indeed. However, as a new fr...
