Ice Maiden (A Loki Fanfic)

Remember Me

"Don't say that Buck, ever, I need to see him" she stood up, determinedly. "Whatever is wrong, I need to see him" her heart was racing and she felt suddenly woozy. She leaned on the arm of the chair till her head cleared and Bucky stood, placing his arm around her waist to steady her.  There had never been, and would never be anything intimate between them, but right now she needed to be held, comforted and reassured.  Bucky could do the first two, and he did, holding her against him, stroking her hair as she took some deep breaths.  The third though, was something he could not in all conscience fake.  He had to be honest, pulling away looked down at this frail but feisty woman, her eyes a sea of conflicting emotion.

"Ali, listen to me, please" he said quietly, he was almost as tall as Loki so she had to look up at him. His eyes were as intensely grey as Loki's were green and his expression almost as icy. "He's.... not himself. Something happened while he was away. We think something terrible. To do with Thanos and the Dark Order.

Thor couldn't find him at the rendezvouz and it was almost two weeks later before we tracked him to some godforsaken backwater planet, I can't even remember the name. Ali, I'm sorry, he was...is... broken". He was being as gentle as he could but there was no hiding the fact the Dark Order had finally caught up with Loki, made good on their threats prior to 2012 and New York. Ali felt genuine terror. This had been Loki's worst fear realised.

"I don't care Buck, I need to see him. I can help him, I know I can." she said it with such passion he couldn't disagree.

"Ok, you've got 30 minutes to gather some stuff and then we're on the Quinjet back to the Campus ok?" she nodded and moved quickly.

An hour later, she was being met by Natasha and Thor at the door next to the landing pad. Natasha took one look at her and threw her arms around her in an emotion filled hug. "Oh my God" she said as they embraced, "you're so thin, you poor thing, come here. Oh my god."

Ali didn't smile at the reunion, there was no joy now. Only fear. "I need to see him Nat. I - we - can help him" she looked from Nat to Thor,

"I don't know Ali " he said, rubbing his face thoughtfully "he's changed. Even for him. He's withdrawn and moody and wont eat or sleep. Wouldn't speak to start with, now he just keeps saying its all his fault and muttering about someone dying. Nothing more, just that it's all his fault." he shook his head "If we try to ask him questions he just explodes with anger."

"And anger's my department" said a voice from behind.

"Bruce" Ali turned and hugged the huge green figure behind her. "Let me at least see him? Please?" Bruce looked at Tony who had also appeared. Tony took one look at Ali and pulled her into a hug.

"Hey Kiddo, you're here" he smiled gently "going to stay awake long enough to see him Sleeping Beauty?" she laughed in spite of herself, and he kissed her forehead. "That's better. So, Thor? You know Emo Prince best - what's the verdict?"

"Ok, but only from a distance, at least to begin with." Thor put his arm around Ali's shoulder, pulling her beside him as they walked, the rest followed behind at a distance. As they moved, he said "So, are you still, well, vulnerable?" He wasn't quite sure how to ask her if she still had Hydra in her head. She nodded, "Sadly, but less than before I think.  You know Thor, while you were gone, I thought him being back would help me make a fresh start, but now..." she trailed off, not wanting to think of the possible outcome of their meeting.

Thor smiled softly, "If anyone can get through to him, it's you little one, you're his life. I'm certain he is still in there somewhere. He looks like him and sometimes even sounds like him, but we can't get to him and that's what scares me. He's locked up tight in his own nightmare and we can't get him out without breaking him." he paused "But be warned, if you can't get to him we might have to send him away. I'm sorry".