let's skip to the good bit

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐈: At least I'm still hot

"So how does it work?" You ask, suddenly changing your entire sense of stability.

"You literally just walk through. Easy enough, right?"
"Right...", you say skeptically. "And why couldn't you have done this yourself? Why drag your poor innocent friend into this mess?", you ask trying to persuade them to test it themselves.
"Because I love you 😊", they say, feigning sincerity.
"Yeah not how this works. See if that were true, you would have tested this yourself", you say, seemingly stating the obvious.
"Well maybe we both perceive love differently 😊".
"...Agree to disagree", you say, solemnly.
"Anywho. How about we compromise".
"Compromise how?"
"You step in, and then step back out, and then you can go home!"
"That's it?", you ask more skeptical than ever.
"Yep, that's it".
Jesus Christ. You just wanted to sleep. it's now, what, 3am?
"Alright whatever, let's get this over with. If I die I'm gonna kms, I swear to all that is mighty", you say.
"Yes, yes. Now get on with it, will you?"
You turn to face the hole in the fucking air. What the actual fuck are you about to do? Why are you doing this? You need better friends, buddy. I mean think about this. Are you really about to go to a different fucking dimension? Just so you can see, what, Levi Ackerman? A fictional character? He's literally lines on a screen bro, c'mon now. Anyways.
You step forward. 'The fuck do you mean, step for-'. Dread fills you. 'Well yeah no sh-'. Can you shut up? Thanks.
You seriously can not believe this is actually happening. How did all of the events of your life, lead up to you stepping into a literal space anus? Not what you were expecting your night to lead up to, huh? You take another step. And another, until you're right in front of the portal anus thing. 'Oh fuck this shit'.
You step inside.
Oh. So like. No weird transformation thingy? Just a door? Huh. Interesting. Anyways time to go back- HAHA! PLOT TWIST THAT YOU MOST DEFINITELY WERE NOT EXPECTING! THE PORTAL IS NO WHERE TO BE SEEN. Just an empty hallway in what seems to be some kind of courthouse lobby.
"Oh nah. OH NAHHH. Where's the cameras? This is a prank right?"
"Who the hell are you?", someone calls from behind you.
You whip your body around to the direction of the voice.
Is that...? Is that... Eren Jaeger?
'You've gotta be shittin' me.' you think to yourself. Wow he's actually super fucking ugly god damn. Bro looks like Will Byers with his goofy ahh bowl cut type look.
'Fr bro, I was thinking the same shi-' Shut up. You're not allowed to talk to me. You're not supposed to talk to me. I don't want you to talk to me. Don't talk to me. Back to what I was saying.
He's about average teenage boy height, looks like he smells like shit. Does smell like shit. Built like a cotton swab. Jesus Mikasa, you really like this white trash, ken doll? Whatevs.
"Uhhh... Charlie! My name's um Charlie. Yeah."
"Why are you dressed like that?", He asks, suspicion written allover that snotty little face. (I'm not the biggest fan of this guy if you haven't noticed)
"I was... doing laundry! So I uh, don't have any other clothes besides these right now.", You lie. Real smooth. Laundry. That'll do it.
"Hmm." He's still skeptical.
"So uh, yeah! I'll just be going now". You start to walk away.
"Wait!" He stops you. You die a little inside.
'I hope you spontaneously combu-'
"Yes 😊?" You put on the most convincing smile you could muster.
"How come I've never seen you around before?" He says whilst looking you up and down.
"I'm new. I'm just clean up crew." Good enough I guess.
"Well alright. Get to it then", he says looking semi full of himself.
"Get to it then", you mock under your breath.
Great now what? You sprint down the empty ass hallway and stumble into a bathroom. You run to the sinks and rinse your face with water. 'God it's still so hot- YOOOO IM 2D THATS CRAZY. Still hot too, god damn', you think to yourself, checking your hot self out in the mirror.
Great heavens this is crazy. So what's on the agenda for today 😊? Maybe some dying from getting trampled by a titan. Maybe getting discovered for being a stranger and getting arrested. Ouuuu or maybe getting brutally beaten by Levi Ackerman. 'Wouldn't mind that', of course you wouldn't. Fucking masochist.
'I'm not a masochist, I just wouldn't mind getting beaten up by a very attractive individual'. Oh gotcha. So you're a masochist.
'IM NOT A MASOCHIST' , yeah you are.
'IM NOT I SWEAR'. Put that on your mother.
'...' exactly. Now what did I say earlier. Don't talk to me. 'BUT YOU STARTED IT'. I can start whatever I want. I'm the narrator. ( Not true. Actually I can start whatever I want. I'm the author.) Yeah yeah whatever. BACK TO THE STORY.
You peak your head out of the door, checking for people. All clear. You book it down the hallway to the exit. Yay you make it to the door and run right into it! Love that for you! It's a fucking pull door by the way.
"I hate everything. I hate everyone.", fuckin emo.
Whoo. You made it outside. It's beautiful, unlike anything you've ever seen. The townspeople bustling around living their daily life. Birds chirping and soaring through the sky. The beautiful architecture of the shops, and homes. It's wonderful to look at, truly stun- Oh cool it's a titan. Oh cool it's literally fucking Eren. Who else would it be?
And the mommy tit- I mean female titan!
"AAAAAAAAAJSSJJDJSAKSKFJDJSKDJFJSJDJ TOJSJAJDJDNZNDNZN". Did you just keyboard smash in real life? Ok babes.
'I think I peed a little 😜'. That's disgusting.
Okay, so you've concluded that you're probably in Shinganshina in somewhere from the end of S1 to S3. Amazing, wonderful, fantastic, marvelous even. Yeah ok so you're running, and you're screaming a lot. Don't tell me you wouldn't, because you would. You're not a skilled and trained scout or whateva. You're a sleep deprived, dehydrated, sexy son of a bitch. But unfortunately that package doesn't come with titan survival skills so you're on your own babes. Oh wait nevermind.

*SWOOP*
*SWOOP*
'I just came a little.' fair enough.
Yeah the Levi squad being the fine ass people that they are, swing their way through the streets, spiderman style. Following close behind, was none other than the short silent hero himself. Link from legend of Zelda. Wait no. Levi Ackerman I think. Same difference. He's shouting incoherent orders that you assume his squad can hear because they're continuing forward with determined faces. You see you're doing the opposite, which is good. Keep doing that.
You don't. Of course you don't.  You charge forward with the mindset that if they notice you, they'll come to your rescue. Which is utterly stupid in my opinion but whatever.
So Annie gets fucking body slammed right. 'Levi take notes', you think to yourself.
Its been a little while. They haven't noticed you yet. Maybe you should turn around and- "HEY DOWN HERE, HELP ME PLEASE", there's no helping you is there. You're infuriating.
Dragging the attention of, you guessed it, Levi Ackerman. Except he doesn't look happy to see you, infact he looks UNhappy to see you. Couldn't be me lol.
He's charging towards you with an annoyed look on his face. He lands next to you with grace that makes your heart rate speed up a bit. He's looking at you like he's trying to say something, but no words are coming out. He opens his mouth then closes it. "Are you stupid? Why didn't you run?Do you know how dire this situation is?", He questions in a tone you interpret as half annoyed and half shocked.
"Yes, I am stupid. I didn't run because I have no idea where I am. And I think I kind of have the idea, yes but not entirely. This all still doesn't feel real to me." You reply honestly.
His face softens with sympathy slightly, but you barley notice because he's either trying to hide it or that's just the amount of effort he's showing that he cares. He stares at you with an unreadable face.
"You're not from here... Are you?" Shit. Too obvious. I guess there's no choice but to be honest now.
"Yeah..." You answer hesitantly.
"I'm taking you to HQ, then they can deal with you. I don't need anymore stress added onto me, and I'm not just going to let you go. You seem to suspicious. Dangerous even." He adds.
Your face drops. "That's understandable. Suspicious? Yeah I can see that, but dangerous? Really? What do you think I'm gonna do, curse your first born child or something?" You reply, slightly annoyed.
He's looking at you with a hint of amusement. "I'm taking you to HQ like I said." He answers with finality.
He pulls you to him and wraps his arms around your middle so you're directly pressed against him. 'Try not to cum challenge.' You won't last 30 seconds play this online porn game 😈. (Enough)
"Hold on tight", he says.
"No need to telle twice", you say outloud unintentionally.
He scoffs in response. Bending his knees slightly then jumping up, he latches the hooks of his RDMG fear onto a nearby roof. Swinging towards his squad. Slipping through the debris, he reaches Petra.
"I'm taking this girl back to HQ, don't ask questions I don't have time to answer. Inform the squad, and retreat if the problem isn't able to be solved in 15 minutes." Levi rushes out with authority and poise.
"Right away sir." Petra says. She turns to look at you and smiles softly. You smile back and she takes that as a final note to tell the squad the next order.
"We're about to take off again so be ready."
"Okay." You reply, still slightly stunned from the last little field trip.
He bends his knees, jumps, and flies through the air.
You remain silent the entire time, knowing better than to agitate him more. Wind is ripping past your ears, making you shiver slightly. You feel it suddenly stop, removing your head from it's confined on Levi's chest.
"We've arrived." He says shortly. (Teehee)
You step away from eachother and he looks at you for a moment, staring at you with curiosity and intriguiment. Snapping out of his mini trance, he signals for you to follow him. You quickly oblige, scurrying to catch up with him. Turning corners rushing up stairs, you finally reach wherever Levi was taking you. A door at the end of the hallway with a plaque on the door that states- "Pyxis, of course." you mutter under your breath. But Levi heard you, and gave you a suspicious side glance. He knocks on the center of the door.
"State your name and business" a gruff voice replies.
"Captain Levi Ackerman, I've found someone who might be of some interest to you, I think she might be related to that strange light you were speaking of."