His Last Chance

Chapter 10

Trigger Warning: Attempted self harm

"You.... What? Really?" He looks so shocked.

"Well obviously I can't forget it," I sigh tiredly, "but for the purposes of getting this scene filmed smoothly and making both of our lives a lot easier, yes. Let's say I forgive you."

"..... So do you or don't you?"

"As I've moved on with my life and I've tried to forget about it, yes I've forgiven you."

"Ok, wow. Thanks?" He's so confused.

The door suddenly bursts open, and Martin storms into the room.

"Jamie," he greets him with a nod, not at all surprised to see him standing there. "Y/n, with me. Now." He grabs me by the wrist and pulls me up out of the chair and out of the room.

"Hey. Martin, stop!" I yank my arm free when we're halfway down the corridor and rub the painful, red finger marks that are already starting to form on my wrist. "What the fuck was that for?"

"I don't want you alone with him." He says, face like stone.

Bubbly, happy, fun Martin has disappeared.

"Were you eavesdropping?"

"Of course I was! You forgive him? What the fuck, y/n? Have you forgotten everything that bastard did to you? What he lead you to do?"

"Obviously not Martin! You don't just forget shit like that. First of all, I'm not surprised that you were listening. At all. But you had no right to do that, no matter who I'm in there with. Second of all, I'd like to make this as easy for myself as possible, and if he's pining around and begging for forgiveness then it's going to make this process go a lot slower. So, from a professional viewpoint Martin, you need to step the fuck back and let me get on with my job."

"Y/n....." Ollie slowly steps out from around the corner.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were out for lunch with Mel?"

"Yeah, as soon as you walked in with him, we turned around and came back. I don't trust him. I needed to make sure you were safe."

"Jesus fucking Christ!" I throw my hands up in the air. "I can judge for myself who I'm safe around! I don't need you lot coddling me. Martin, I half expected this from you, but not from you Ollie. I understand that you want to be here and keep an eye out for me, but as my boyfriend you should trust that I would let you know immediately if I was in any danger, and I don't expect you to go sneaking around and listening in on any of my conversations! Either of you!" My voice has been getting louder and louder.

This was always going to be a tense day, what with Jamie being here, but I never expected it to go like this.

Ollie steps forward and stretches a hand out, trying to take mine.

I take a step back.

"No. I'm sorry but I can't believe you'd act like that."

"Y/n, I'm just trying to keep you safe," he says again.

"I am safe! I'm fine!"

"You don't look fine," Martin raises an eyebrow.

"Well I was fine. Of course I'm not fucking fine now. Martin, you need to learn to mind your own fucking business. Now you need to go deal with the trailer with Debbie."

"But-"

"Now. And I swear to god, don't fucking push me."

He clamps his mouth shut, face void of any emotion, and nods before turning and walking to the production room.

"Y/n, love," Ollie tries.

"No. I need you to go. I can't have you around me right now while I'm trying to work, we'll talk about this later."

He casts a glance to the dressing room where Jamie still is. Where the door is still open. So he's heard it all.

"Ollie. Trust me. I will be fine. But I need you to go please. Now."

I fold my arms over my chest, returning nothing as he kisses my forehead.

I need to shut him out right now, otherwise the other thing that I need to do is going to be so much harder if I'm thinking about him.

I don't wait to watch him leave before I turn around, walk back to the dressing room and stick my head in to see Jamie.

"Right, there's about half an hour left of lunch. You might want to use that time to go talk to your co-stars, get to know the filming team and please, just don't scare the interns. They're jumpy enough as it is."

I'm being very formal and firm, but I just need to get moving.

"Then, when you've done that, get yourself over to costume and then to hair and makeup. I'll be back by then, we'll run through the scene a couple of times and then we'll try filming it. Sound good?"

He's fidgeting with his hands. "Yeah, that sounds good. Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine. Nothing for you to worry about."

I turn to leave.

"Wait, where are you going?"

I don't look back around. "You don't need to worry about that."

"Are you gonna be alright?" His awkwardness drops away and he's asking me directly, because he knows what I'm thinking.

"I'll be fine."

I leave him in the dressing room and walk quickly "my room". It's a room that got assigned to me at the start of production, it's meant for me to store my stuff in and take breaks in and whatnot. I very rarely use it.

Only in emergencies.

Thankfully, I still have my bag on my shoulder from where I was supposed to be going to lunch with Ollie and Mel. I guess in the hectic ado, I forgot to put it down.

And I'm grateful I did.

I walk into my "office" and lock the door behind me, then close the blind that looks out into the corridor.

Slowly, taking my time, I put my bag on the desk and withdraw the small, metal tin from within.

Everything is running through my mind right now.

It's been 5 years since I've seen Jamie, and within the first 5 minutes of him being back, it's been a whirlwind.

Martin, my friend, completely disrespected my privacy.

Ollie, my boyfriend, completely disrespected my privacy.

Neither of them trust me to be in a room alone with Jamie.

Jamie, my ex-boyfriend, apparently still loves me.

Mel, my boyfriend's sister, is half clueless in the situation and half defensive of her brother.

I have no one left I can turn to right now.

Nobody.

The small pencil sharpener blade shines in the light of my small desk lamp. Tempting me.

I bring it to the skin on my arm and push into it slightly.

Already there's a bead of blood.

But then there's a voice. In my head. It's telling me to stop and think. Find a distraction. Make myself busy.

It's not even Ollie's voice.

It's Jamie's.

Goddamit.