Strayed and Stayed // You Found Me.

2 - Prodrome - The Onset

Prodrome - The Onset
Chapter Two

A change, significant or insignificant - is a change. A constant state of being. I could feel the very blood in my veins rush, the venom of being parted from the very beat of my heart, it poisoned my soul. Living seemed to be a punishment. But not being a part of the world that she existed in, an agony and a torment that afflicted my very soul. So I'd rather suffer in a world that she was alive in, than die to the onward universe wherefore her existence was merely a thought.

Kainat wiped her tears as her eyes beaded through the painful lines of the book that she held in her right hand. Her left hand was cupped under her chin. She laid on her stomach on the matress on the floor and she sighed, closing the book and turned over to lay on her back. She didn't know what to do with herself once she was home. She liked to keep her friends out of her home, and remain peaceful. She stayed in a room on the terrace in a small building. It was a very nice looking studio space, and in a small town like Belma village in Mangalore, it was cheap too. It was a beautiful place too.

She sighed, getting up and opening the windows that let the air in. She pulled the mesh down on them so that no unwanted visitors came into her little home. She walked approximately 12 steps that led her to the kitchen and pulled open the cabinet. There were raw and uncooked lentils, rice, containers of flours and powders, and she huffed. She really did not have the will to cook herself a meal. She pulled open the cabinet that was towards the corner, the lonely end and pulled out the tall bottle of clear liquid that kept her going. She opened up her small fridge, took out all the fruits she could find and threw it all into the blender with ice. If she was going to drink, she should at least add something healthy with it.

"Cognitive dissonance." She muttered to herself and then snorted out a laugh. She poured it into her huge glass and grabbed the bag of roasted black chick peas and sat back down on her matress. She grabbed the remote and shifted through all the options there were on her TV, taking a sip of the cold and alcoholic fruit drink.

"Mhm." She hummed in delight.

"Accha banaya." She complimented herself and settled on Doctor Who. She cuddled up into her blanket and sucked the salt out of the channa before chewing on it.

She lived quite a plain life. She went to classes a few times in a week, she worked most of her time, and then came back home and occupied herself with the novels and shows. She had picked this place to move to for the monotony. She wanted mediocrity.

She was only 8 when her mother passed away. Her father was back in Punjab, married with another family. She had lived with her naana and naani for the most of her life. She sighed, breathing deeply as she remembered the only two people in her life who truly cared for her. Her eyes went to the little framed picture on the side table and she smiled softly.

"Sorry I left." She mumbled, waving at the picture.

"I know you're sorry that you left too. And it's okay." She muttered, sighing softly. She got up and walked off out of the door, there was a lot of space in front of her home, the terrace area. She leaned forward onto the wall railing and looked at the beach in front of her building, it wasn't very close, quite a distance away, but it did leave her a magnificent view of the endless waters. It was raining half the year in Mangalore, from May to October, and then it became cold. It was also humid and sticky. She sighed, and watched the ocean roar. The waves crashed against the shore, and then retreated calmly.

Two more days. Two days and she would finish writing her exams. Her results would be out. And she would become a clinical psychologist. She would work on what she loved the most. She had a future. And that was worth everything that the past had taken her through.