The Deal - Shawn Mendes

Chapter 14

Addie was supposed to have tutoring with Shawn after school. They hadn't even discussed where but she couldn't bring herself to face it, or him. "Hey, want to go do something to take your mind off of everything?" Angela felt terrible for pushing Addie to go and admit her feelings to Shawn because then she wouldn't be hurt, she wouldn't be regretting her first time which now Addie did. "No, but thanks. I'm supposed to have tutoring but I think I'm just going to revise at home, see what I can do," that's all she could do right now. She was not ready to face her tutor.

The walk home was long, quiet and full of many thoughts until she walked through the front door. She hoped to find her mum there and maybe talk like she had so many times before offered. But no, just a note on the counter:

Dear Addie,

Sorry I couldn't be there to see you come home from school but I've been invited out for a work trip that is a really good opportunity for me. Message if you need anything at all my lovely. I have sent you money and there's some food in the fridge to start you off. I don't know how long I'll be gone exactly but I love you my darling. I wish I could be there to help whatever is going on in your head. You know I will be there and waiting for you to tell me in your own time. In the mean time try not to worry. Live and enjoy whatever is out there. You've got 2 years before the real world begins. Enjoy the fantasy while it lasts.

Lots of love, Mum xxx

And that was it. She was alone for the week. She ripped up the note throwing it carelessly into the recycling bin and slumped upstairs. Plonking her bag down she tried to work on her psychology. Right now though, it seemed to be turning into gibberish as she doodled on the side of her page. Knock! And she continued to try... knock! There was tapping from her window. She huffed in frustration and found the last face she wanted to see right there staring her in the eye with glassy eyes himself. She wanted to of course, unlock that window with one click and hear everything. But, however much she knew it would be everything she wanted to hear, she couldn't do it.

Addie turned herself around shoved in her headphones to block out everything that was toxifying her brain. All there was the high beat of the music. She tried her best to work through some work with she eventually did but it took her longer than normal.

After working for some time she realised the time and saw it was getting dark, she needed some form of dinner. Tidying up her desk she accidentally knocked a tray off her desk, "Damn it!" Addie knelt down to shuffle all the pieces of paper together until she found a piece of paper. It was her most recent doodles she did when she needed some concentration. With a sigh, she saw the one person she didn't want to see once again. The only thought that ran through her mind was to look the drawings up in the same place she keeps locked up mentally and literally at all times. Reaching her art studio up the stairs, Addie saw the door she closed once and has chosen not to open properly since. Her key rattled in her hand as she shook it into the lock. Clack! Opening the door she looked around at everything, the girl she used to be. Glancing again at the piece of paper she went to find the draw she always put loose drawings in that were spare that she could look and recreate at later dates. Well, she used to recreate, now they just sat there, built up dust and so would Shawn. And there was Shawn out the window. Shawn! Oh my gosh! "Shawn!"

Shawn had been there sitting waiting. He twiddled his thumbs from the moment she turned away when she had found him to the moment she had spotted him right there and then not doing anything else. As quick as she could she yanked open the door not caring if she got wet. "Shawn! What are you doing out here? I thought you'd left," Shawn was unresponsive. He was conscious but it was almost like he couldn't say anything back. So cold, ice skin chilled to the touch. With all her might she stood him up and pulled him inside. She took him down to her bedroom and rushed to get him a clean dry towel. No matter what had happened between them she was so worried about her shutting him out like that. "Shawn wake up, look at me. I'm here ok it's ok. Please be ok," finally he responded looking into her eyes with some form of life.

"I'm, I'm ok I think," he says shivering.

"Shawn we need to get you out of these clothes I've got some of your joggers and a hoodie. Here's you towel to dry off. You get changed in here so you can stay here warm and I'll just go if you want me to," Addie explains.

"No stay," Shawn grabbed her hand before she could leave. All Addie could do was nod. He started changing in front of her eyes. Addie couldn't help but stare at that familiar figure in front of her. Shawn peeped a glance at Addie's expression it was cute. No he couldn't be thinking like that. He came to fix a friendship. Before he finished changing he was standing in his joggers and he needed to tell her everything, "Addie I'm so sorry."

"Shawn let's just leave and get you better we can worry about this later when you're ok."

"No!" He snapped, "We're sorting this now. I have to. I can't stand you not being ok with me. Please just let me explain?" With a second to think about it, Addie reluctantly nodded in agreement unsure of what he could say to fix this situation. Shawn gestured for Addie to sit down first on the bed and he followed her. This man, what a gentleman and just the most complex mind she had ever met in her life. She had too many questions. "Addie, I'm so so sorry. I can't explain how sorry I am." The tears started to prick his eyes and this was the first time Addie had ever truly seen Shawn Mendes completely vulnerable or crying. His guard was fully down. And he had so much more to say.