Rude

Chapter 19

Vi pov...

I am taking a shower after we finally have left the bed. It was heaven... Just being lazy and cuddled up... Chris is ordering breakfast. I dont know what came over me this morning but waking up and seeing him lying there all yummy looking, made me sort of lose control. I called Cecile who was going to work today anyway and told her to call in our temp to help her because i would not be in today. I then had fallen back asleep again until Chris had woken me up scared that we had overslept. It was kinda sweet in a weird way that he looked so panicked about it. I couldn't resist to plant a kiss on his chest and the way he reacted to my touch went straight to my core. I decide just then and there to let go of my reservations and let my heart take over.... Well, my horny feelings took over. 

I think about the way he fit perfectly inside of me, stretching my walls and i could feel the familiar sensation start to build inside of me again. God what was happening, i had awaken something inside of me. "Chris?!" I yelled from the shower, the hot water running over my body. 

"Everything okay?" I heard from the other side of the door. God this man was surreal. not coming in... Even when i called out for him. It felt nice being respected. The way he took my feelings in account making sure that every step of the way i was okay. I could feel it took everything in him not to take over and that he was letting me have control which made it so much more special. I could count on one hand, the times that men had taken my needs in consideration during sex. Especially my ex-husband he just took what he wanted and didn't care about my needs. 

"Can you come in here for a minute?" I said a little softer and the door opened. Fuck he looks hot, i think to myself. The grey sweatpants hanging perfectly on his hips. "What do you need sweetheart?" He said giving me a reassuring smile. I took a step forward and took his hand dragging him under the shower. For a moment i was worried, i mean he was still wearing clothes and in the past... But he started laughing and shook his head. 

"All you had to do was ask sweetheart..." He whispered, smiling before leaning down and kissing me. I was still covering myself up a bit as there was no way to hide my scars in this light. He softly took my arms and wrapped them around his waist. "No need to hide sweetheart. I think your beautiful scars and all." He said and i dont know why but it hit me hard...  I let out a sigh. "They are ugly..." I whisper. 

"They are part of you, so they are beautiful because you are beautiful." He whispers and i gasped when he leaned down and planted a kiss on one of them, to then move to another. He sunk down on his knees continuing this kissing each scar. I couldn't help it, but tears started to run down my cheeks and Chris stood back up kissing me. "Its okay... Let it all out your safe" He whispers. 

I felt pathetic but it was like the dam broke, like this is what i needed to finally let all the hurt go. I started sobbing clinging onto his arms as my legs gave out and he lowered us slowly to the floor of the shower pulling me in his lap rocking me back and forth. "Let it all out sweetheart..." He said in a soft tone. "It's okay sweetheart, it's okay." Chris whispers over and over again... "I am sorry..." I said between sobs. "This is not what i had in mind, when i dragged you in here." I mumble and Chris chuckled kissing the top of my head. 

He helped me up and we got out of the shower and dressed ourselves just in time before the doorbell rang and breakfast was delivered. We put our food on plates and sat down at the counter. "Can i ask a question about your scars?" Chris said in a soft tone. "Uh yeah sure..." i say looking at my plate pushing my food around feeling a little unsure but i knew i had to have this conversation sometime... "You dont have to answer if you dont want to." Chris says and i take a deep breath... "No... It's okay... My therapist says it is good to talk about it." I say calming my nerves... He nodded and gave me a small smile. "Maybe i just should tell you what happened..." i said letting out a sigh... "You dont have to... Only if you are comfortable doing so..." He said looking at me serious. 

I took a deep breath. "Where to start..." I said letting out a sigh. "Maybe some backstory first...I met my now ex-husband a long time ago... We started dating, there where red flags but i was young and naive and in love and chose to ignore them. We got married really quick and he became possessive and accused me of things i did not do... Nothing i ever did, was good enough. You know the standard abusive husband stuff..." I said trying to make joke or to lighten the mood... I dont know why i said it like that. 

Chris didn't react but just listened it was nice... normally people would interrupt asking a hundred questions. Not Chris, he just held my hand played with my fingers which calmed me down and just sat there and listened. "The abuse got worse and worse. It went from 1 time a month to weekly to every day. Forcing himself on to me, beating me if i did something wrong in his eyes." I whisper and i have to swallow as the memories flood back in. Chris wiped a tear from my cheek. I take in a deep shaky breath as i know the next part will be hard to talk about...

"I got pregnant.... and some part of me.... The naive part... Thought he would stop. That he would not beat me or abuse me while i was pregnant, but he didn't. He accused me that the baby wasn't his that i had cheated on him somehow. Which was utter bullshit... I barely even left the house... He started to kick me in the stomach and i lost the baby." I say tears streaming down my face as i think back at the worse day in my life... 

"I know i should have done it sooner, but i finally left him. I know it is partly my fault i lost my baby. I should have left him sooner i was so stupid. When he went to work, he would lock the house so i couldn't leave... The day i finally left, i packed a bag and crawled out a window... I went to a women's shelter and filed for divorce. I got an apartment and got my life back, but the court made an error and he found out true his divorce lawyer where i lived. He broke in and attacked me with a knife stabbing me over and over and over leaving me to die. If it wasn't for a neighbor i would have died... Technically... i did die on the operating table. but they brought me back." I said taking a deep breath as i just had dumped all my trauma out...

We sat there in silence as i was done talking. But Chris not saying something was making me anxious. "Can you please say something?" I whisper looking at my hands not daring to look at him. I felt his hand on my cheek as he turned my face to look at him. Without saying a word, he pressed his lips on mine. "I am sorry you had to go through that..." Was all he said. No judgement... Not why didn't you leave sooner, or what did you do to make him mad. Just an, I am sorry you had to go through that.