The Devil's Gift/The Bloody Handed

7

School dragged on. It was all a blur, and I don't recall any of the lessons the teachers were attempting to teach me. I couldn't focus on the still ongoing construction going on. Robin was able to stick with me through out the entire day. Everyone kept staring at us, especially Max, Dustin, Mike, and I. The girl who almost died. The nerds who were in the D&D affiliation. Or me- the girl who was related to Jason Carver, the murderer (which we framed). Imagine if I was known as the girl who dated Eddie Munson. Way worse. The whispering, the slight staring from the corner of eyes as notebooks were being held up. All I could do was walk with my head down and ignore it.

I never have given much thought to what Vecna had said. It still didn't feel real. The rage, the red, the pain. I don't remember most of it. I remember specific things. I told the others what he called me- what he said my name really was. Absinthe Creel. Except I would never want to be called that in my life. I was always going to be Clary Gregerson even if it wasn't my real name. It was what everyone else knew me by. And it was the girl who went through all of this shit.

Even though the classes went  by quick, the counseling didn't. They required me to go to it, along with a handful of other students with what happened. Of course I kept my mouth shut. I couldn't say half of what I saw- that is, unless I wanted to go to a psych ward. It was a bunch of fake smiling and pretending to care. No one could help me. They have several other students to talk to. The only person that truly could was gone. And that's the reality. Just because you have a degree in psychology doesn't mean you can fix a shattered window with a bandaid.

**

Robin and I stood outside of the building waiting for Steve.

"So, how was the first day back?" Robin looks to me.

"It was fine. Besides the whispering and staring. But I expected it to say the least. Just glad you were able to switch your classes." I readjust my bag on my shoulder.

Steve pulls up, the wheels burning rubber. We hop in, me taking the front seat.

"Birthday girl gets the front, huh?" Steve looks over with his shades on.

I grin and shake my head. "I'd say the wheel but I'll settle."

"Oh no, you are not driving my baby." Steve pats the wheel.

"Oh, so the famous Steve Harrington is taken by wheels now?" I say joking. "It's about time you put a ring on something!"

I look back to Robin and we start to laugh, Steve shaking his head but smiling. We had to go back to his place and get ready and wait for Dustin and then to get done. Robin was set on doing my makeup, for some odd reason. She was so keen on getting me to dress up for once- and surprisingly, I was going to let her.

I was to the point of no return. Do what you want, when you want. I didn't really care anymore. I've learned to lay back and let life do it's thing. It's what Eddie did. And even though it took me months to get there, I did it. But I wasn't even close to healing. I'm not sure how to get rid of this dread- this feeling of my heart wrenching every time I think of him. Every time I think back to the roof, to the last smile he gave me. He didn't even look in pain. He just smiled, told me it would be okay with his big brown eyes.. then he let me go. I look down at my wrist and wrap my hand softly around the handkerchief. You weren't supposed to let go.

***

"Alright! Makeup time." Robin leans down and grabs out a bag full of brushes and color pallets.

"Ohhhh no.. please no blue or pink." I say with my hands in a praying motion.

"Well, you have an outfit to put on so.. I think what I have planned will suit you.. a lot." She throws some clothes to me. They were black, white, and green. "I'm not evil. Try them on, I'll turn around." She turns towards the shower curtain and I sigh as I slip off my comfortable clothes.

There were a pair of black leather leggings, a white and black crop top that spelled "metal" on it, and a dark forest green jacket with a pair of black boots. It wasn't so bad I guess. I put on the leggings, the fabric squeaking. I then throw on the shirt and wrap the coat around my waist- it was too hot to put that on right now. I finally throw on the boots and tie them up my ankle.

"Okay, done." Robin turns around and audibly gasps.

"You look... great! Leave it to a lesbian to dress you up." She comes over, puts her hands on her hips, and nods approvingly, taking out her makeup bag once again.

I look at myself in the mirror. My thin frame has slowly become more bony. I failed to have the best diet with everything going on. The leggings ended right below my bellow button; I was never a fan of low rise but I was okay with this. The shirt stopped right above my belly button, the short fringed edges decorating the look. I run a hand through my now mid length hair and close my eyes as Robin starts patting liquid into my face.

I never felt good about myself. I never really cared much for my appearance. It didn't even feel like my birthday. But I wasn't going to let everyone down. They really wanted to make it a special day so I was going to let them. Show them I care somehow.

"So, how are you and Vicky?" I tease opening on eye.

She scoffs. "G- good! We are good. We uh.. had our first like.. kiss. It was exciting." She smiles. She was holding back from telling me more, knowing that it might upset me or reveal emotions I didn't want to feel. But I was genuinely happy for her. I feel a small brush tap on my eyelashes, then a wet wand start to life them up.

I close my eye again. "Good. You deserve it." My smile fades. I thought I deserved it at one point too. But it didn't seem to be in the cards for me.

"Alright, done!"

"That was fast." I open my eyes and touch my face. It wasn't a lot, but it wasn't little. It was a perfect amount. I had concealer and a light pink blush on. The bags under my eyes were well addressed and my eyes had a smoke black around the corners, my long red eyelashes now black. My freckles still bled through even with the pigment, but I gave up on it. "Wow, thanks Robin." I look at her and smile, as she does the same.

"You girls ready?! I've been waiting for like ever." Steve groans.

"Yes, Mom!" Robin says. We both laugh as we hear him stomp off into the distance. Words couldn't explain how thankful I was for Robin. My first friend made, and the one I relied on the most.