that's all i felt sheer panic. across my body i couldn't breath. i was thinking about all of the reasons i wasn't good enough.
anyone would agree with me. i spent my entire life trying to figure out why my mom didn't want my why my dad left. it all came back to the day.
-flashback-
"mommy can my friends from school come overrr?" i asked my mother like any child would "no not now not ever go the fuck to your room!" a bit harsh? but ok.
the next day in school i ran into matt (we were only in first grade) "hey sy" i smiled at the boy. "hey matty sorry i didn't stop by last night i was busy.." pure lies ITS ALL LIES. "sy what's that bruise on your arm" oh god. what have i done. "if i tell you, you have to promise not to tell ANYONE" he pinky promised. "my mom gets really mad and hits me now that my dad left." the boy just stared at me.
"sy i love you. i'm always here for you i hope you know. you're my best friend" that was the biggest i've ever smiled. "thanks matty i love you too" i gave him a kiss on the cheek.
-end of flashback-
my mom left as soon as i got to 6th grade. never tried to come back. my aunt pays my bills just never met me.
i didn't know what to do or who to call i was having a horrible panic attack at 6:00am why would anyone be awake? god i hate myself for this.
matty b(itch)😘
sy bb matt. i'm sorry it's way to late but i need someone rn this is so stupid i'm so sorry don't text back omg i probably woke you up
matty b(itch)😘 you didn't wake me up what's going on?
sy bb idk i was thinking about my mom then i just had a full blown anxiety attack. i still am
i'm coming to get you ok?
no don't i am
as soon as matt got there i ran to the van. i hugged him like my life depended on it. i feel so stupid.
"i'm sorry you didn't have to come all this way you know." "it's only like a five minute drive. i would gladly do it for you love".
i folded so quick. i think he could tell because as he backed out of my driveway he was smirking.
-
"matt this isn't the way to your house where are we going?" was he kidnapping me on a day like this? he pulled over. thanks fuck. "look at me." he said pulling my chin up to look at him in his eyes. i laughed a little bit not being able to be serious.
he put his hand in mine "you are perfect the way you are okay? just because your mom was to pussy to raise a kid. who turned out to be the most beautiful young women i have ever met." i sighed looking down at our hands. he was holding both of my hands i felt comfort with matt.
"i'm sorry matt. for everything we've went through together has been my fault. if i had just acted on how i felt instead of ghosting you for that kid in ninth grade we would've still been friends." i hate myself. "hey it's not your fault ok. things happen. lets go get ice cream" he put his hands on my thigh and started driving.
syspaminyrass
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syspaminyrass : thankss mr sturniolo for taking me for ice cream i owe you one 😝
christophersturniolo : yo where's mine? ^no hahaah christophersturniolo : fuck you
alahna111 : where's mine? ^sorry lana
nathandoe8 : really? ^sorry nate
nicolassturniolo : ooooo lover birds ^its not like that matthewsturniolo : fr we're f-r-i-e-n-d-s
matthewsturniolo : thanks 🙏 yw for paying btw ^ THANK YOU MY LORD AND SAVIOR I AN IN MY KNEES🧎♀️🧎♀️ matthewsturniolo : good 👍🏽
A/N
BTW THE WHOLEEE READON I MADE THIS WAS FOR THE CAR SXENXE AND IM SO GLAD I GOT TO MAKE IT BECAUSE O WOULDVE DIED!!
