Sasaki&Miyano: Yearning For You

I met him, we talked. I might cry.

Note: In the first chapter wherever I stated bakery, I meant bakery+cafe. I'm so sorry if I got you confused. Hopefully you'll like this chapter.

Miyano Yoshikazu's pov

"Aarrrghhh, you need to finish this work by tomorrow evening" I shout at myself and then I look at the clock, it's almost 9pm. "I need to clear up my mind and get some fresh air." I think to myself and I get up and put on the first cloth I see- it's a hoodie. I take my diary and lock the door. I decide to walk down the stairs because elevators are quite suffocating sometimes.

I just walk around the park which is near my apartment. I sit on the swing and let my thoughts wander. And I look at the hoodie I'm wearing, it's ginger-orange colour and it reminds of someone I knew, in the past.
I really don't wanna think of that person right now. "Like I have control over my thoughts." I mutter within myself.

I even saw him in my dream last night. I don't remember the last time I dreamt of sempai. I was happy when I woke up but after few moments the sad overwhelming feeling took over me and I thought to myself, "I don't wanna be happy if I get this sad and heartbroken afterwards."
Sad is an understatement. I really can't explain why do I feel this way. Back then in high school, we used to be so close. He was so affectionate towards me. I always classified sempai as someone who's "cool" but there were times when I'd think of him as "cute", unintentionally. I do miss what we had but the universe did what it did and I can't change anything. Nothing at all.

I feel like I'm being too despondent but it is what it is. I don't know if sempai was just joking back then when he kinda used to flirt with me. I always shrugged him off and got mad at him but it made me happy. All those manga I used to lent him are still at my bookshelf and some are still with him, atleast I like to think it is.
I used to annotate my books as a hobby which I still do but letting other people see my notes and annotations are kinda embarrassing but I never felt that way with him. Everything felt better with him.
He asked me for my permission if he could annotate my books too and without any second thought I said, "By all means. You didn't need to ask that." He laughed and said, "why are you being formal and those are your books so I need to ask before doing anything." It made me so happy when he said that. He knew how much books meant to me. Sometimes he used to draw doodles, mostly music ones and sometimes heart ones and those were so cute.

I feel my heart beating too fast and I wanna scream and I want to get angry for taking him away from me. I haven't been able to build another relationship like that with anyone esle. I don't even want to, maybe that's the reason.
"No. Enough. Don't go there now." I whisper while my hand is at my chest, feeling my own heartbeat. I take a deep breathe and look up at the sky, smile and say, "hope you're doing well, sempai." A tear rolls over my left cheek as I close my eyes. I wipe it.

"Now that I'm out, I want a good cup of coffee and I gotta head back home to complete my work." I get up and look at my phone, it's 10:15pm. "What? Have I been just sitting like that for more than an hour?" I mutter.

Even though it's late but I'm walking slowly trying to grasp everything. There's a cafe that just opened 3 months ago but it's quite popular and the service is good and everything they make is tasty. I don't eat sweet breads and pastries though. I do eat a chocolaty thing which has alcohol in it. And that thought reminds me of how once he ate a chocolate with alcohol even though he didn't liked those, just because I gave it to him and he didn't wanted to hurt my feelings. I grin, but I stop as soon as I realise it.

It took me almost 30 minutes to reach the cafe, it usually takes approx 10-15 minutes and I didn't even realised. I take a seat. Like always, it's crowded. I put my diary on the table and start scribbling whatever.
The manager spots me and shouts, "Miyano, this late? It's been a while hasn't it?" I let out a laugh and say, "I just saw you day before yesterday."
"Yeah but it's been more than 24 hours." He replies.