sweet addiction || ryomen sukuna ✓

19

my delusions of happiness make me live longer ... they make me think that i can keep going.
-

"Yūji ... I'll tell you the person I really am! I'll tell you why I'm staying here no matter what! I have no strength but I want it all! I have no knowledge despite how many books I've read, and all I do is dream and make pointless wishes to gods that don't even give a damn! There is nothing I can do except struggle in vain like an idiot! I- I hate ... I hate myself!"

She spoke from her heart as she lifted up her hand, her outstretched fingertips pointing towards the special grade.

"All I do is talk a big game and make myself out to be something great when everyone around me know I'm nothing special! I act like i know what I'm doing with my life when I really don't. Everyone else around me ... their talents and strengths come so easy to themselves. I fail so much and it's not even funny! Tests, worksheets, technical problems ... it doesn't matter what I'm given-it's like my brain refuses to work and i just fail, fail FAIL, AND FAIL!"

She focused her cursed energy on the special grade as her whole being shaking as she tried to get her ability to do as she wanted it to.

"And I'm sitting here wondering why I even exist! Why does such a useless person like me even exist?! I really can't do anything, Yūji! I never do anything, and I still complain like it's my profession or something. Who the hell do I think I am?! I'm fake! It's amazing that I even lived with myself for this long! And you know I'm right! You probably saw it when you first met me, but never said anything about it! I'm an empty shell. I have nothing and will forever be nothing! And i know that it's true because it's obvious."

She managed to confuse the curse as she tried to change it. Though, it didn't last long since it was a bit too powerful for her.

"And do you know what I did with my life before I met you and the others? I did nothing! I was just a mere puppet for my parents to use as I would be yelled at and told that I wouldn't amount to anything. Even when I wanted to do something ... anything! I knew I couldn't! Because with everything, everything that has happened! This ... this is the result of my wasting away. That, that's probably the result of me not having any character."

But she didn't care, she wanted to continue to help yūji in any way that she could.

"That. That is why I'm staying! I'm not letting you forget me, or leave, or die without me! I'm going to save you and be your friend and make you think that everything will be alright even though I know that I can't do a damn thing, or save anyone, or be of any use in this world! Even though I have no purpose!"

"y/n-"

"Yūji, I truly, with every single fiber of my being, hate myself."

Though, something changed. His breath catching as he tried to get a hold of himself. But his emotion ... was he losing control by y/n's own words?

How did that even work-?

"Your parents are ignorant, it's almost laughable."

Her breath caught in her throat as she felt someone grip her hair and force her to look up. Yūji was no longer there. Instead Sukuna took his place instead. The special grade curse off to the side merely watching. Laughing? Was it amused at what was happening?

"Sukuna."

He grinned, his tight hold still there. She couldn't find herself to move. To do anything really. He could snap her head off in one move. How scary. Not really.