Quirky Emily

Emily gets starbucks!!!!!!

TW: You might choke. Also for animal violence, death, and car crashes.

Note: This book is a joke full of stereotypes and random stuff i come up with. I am also not putting full effort into making good writing for a book thats supposed to be a joke. Please do not send hate!

Emily sighed as she got out of her bed. It smelled terrible because she wiped her ass with her white, fuzzy blanket. She walked into her bathroom, and looked at her ugly face in the mirror. Her long, blonde hair flowed down her back. Her gorgeous blue eyes shined in the sunlight. 

"ugh. I'm so ugly." she thought. 

Emily then threw on an oversized hoodie and some cheetah print leggings, and ran outside, barefoot. She killed a bird sitting on the ground when she ran on the path. As she was running, she saw dora get hit by a car. Her corpse lay in the road, and Quirky Emily ran jumped over Dora's decaying corpse. She was running to the nearest starbucks. The hot cement gave Emily third degree burns on her feet.  Her toe fungus was burned off by the blazing sun.

When she finally made it to Starbucks, she saw homeless men all over the sidewalk. She also saw a couple of rats climbing on the door. She opened the door like an anime girl. Her favorite worker, Tommy was working at the cash register. She ran up to Tommy, and ordered the usual.

"Hey Tommy! The usual."
"Who the fuck even are you." Tommy said.

"You don't remember me? I'm ordering the usual!" Emily said.

"WHAT'S THE USUAL?!?!?" Tommy screamed.

"Pumpkin spice unicorn coffee cappucino with extra whipped cream and mocha mint flavoring."

"And, make sure its.. Low fat." Emily said rebelliously. 

The entire store starting staring at Emily. She saw a few people gasp, and one person screamed out of terror. She laughed. That's just the life of an emo baddie like Emily!!!

Emily creamed as she took a sip of her aesthetic not like other girls coffee.  As she was creaming, she saw a gorgeous man. She screamed. He looked like a dream. His long, brown flowy hair blew from the pollution coming from the diesel trucks.  He looked familiar. 

She continued to walk through the highways, forest, mountain, and volcano to go to her school. "Quirky High.". The second she walked in, everyone was staring at her. Her boyfriend, Jake The Bad Boy had a glow in his hazel eyes when he saw her. She chuckled as she saw his emo hair, and black leather jacket which he matched with ripped skinny jean shorts. He had princess stickers all over his legs. Emily walked down the halls with Jake the bad boy, when she saw the same boy she met outside of Starbucks. She gasped and creamed at the sight of him.