Ronaldo POV -
It was the summer of 2021 I remember the last time I was so close to seeing him again... I rang Pochetinno everyday hoping he'd give me a chance. But all the calls somehow ended like this...
R - "PLEASE POCH! I'LL HAVE TO GO TO MAN UNITED IF YOU DON'T LET ME JOIN!"
P - "No can do Cris, I'll have to take another pay cut to afford your wages and I'm already on a bag of skittles a week so I can't really go any further down."
R - "But you're PSG! You're stinking rich!"
P - "Well we don't use our wealth very well around here when we have players like Kimpempbe, Herrera and Wijnaldum on combined wages of a million a week, GOODBYE!"
After spending a year in that shithole old toilet I'm on the move again and I'm hoping I'll get to join my darling Lionel in the French farmers league. Poch is gone so maybe the new manager will let me join... here goes nothin.
Ring ring
Galtier - Bonjour
Ronaldo - Can I join please?
Galtier - Give me one second please.... KYLIAN!
Mbappe - Yes?
Galtier - Can Ronaldo join us?
Mbappe - Hmmm... people will be overshadowing me over the fact that Messi and Ronaldo will be playing on the same team... so no deal! Get him out!
Galtier - Sorry Monsiuer Ronaldo, it's a no from Kylian.
The call ended and I was heartbroken... but I still wanted to leave Manchester so I tried again, this time with Bayern Munich. They have a chance of playing PSG in the champions league so maybe there I can prove my worth to join up with Lionel!
Ronaldo - Hey!
Nagelsmann - Bugger off old man! I don't want anyone older than the gaffer in this team.
Ronaldo - What about Neuer?
Nagelsmann - Neuer stays because he seriously knows how to handle balls!
Ronaldo - Oh...
Bayern, No, PSG, No.
I sulked and then got a message from the manager.
Egghead
Harry's still the captain by the way
You
Fuck off
Egghead
And I'm not letting you leave
You
Suck my balls gaffer
———
How was I going to unite with my love Lionel now?
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