Sufi | book 3

how it really started in the first place

Trigger warning sexual content

I was falling asleep and then the next thing you know I was playing with my breasts with my hands massaging them ever so gently and making me want to feel more parts of my body. That's when I knew I enjoyed my own touch. The touch of a auto romantic someone who is going to enjoy themselves in more ways than one. I ended up massaging and caressing my breasts many times until the next thing you know I was naked in bed and I was pleasuring myself let's put it that way. But other than that I was just who I was I said that felt good inside my head. And then I decided I was going to kiss myself in the mirror when I did I realized that was a person for me to be with it wasn't a one time playing or self-pleasure thing I was just a self-love thing cuz when I kissed myself I ended up finding that spark right away that I've never found with people sure I may have clicked with other people and may like them but I haven't had the chance to say I want to explore you and I want to see what is up with you and see what you're like physically kind of thing as I do with myself even though I know what my body shape is like and stuff. That's when I decided to look up on a romantic. It's one of your sexually and romantically attracted to yourself and I ended up learning about more people that have the orientation like Gaia vital. She is an auto romantic writer she wrote how to date yourself I'm more or less know how to date myself in my own way too you pleasure yourself at night you do things that you enjoy during the day you treat yourself to whatever at any point when you think you need to be treated you eat three times a day and that's repeat that's my opinion on that that's how I date myself is by spoiling myself. Example is I got a Goldstone ring once my brother paid for it but I got it as a reminder to say well like a promise ring to myself saying I ain't going to date anymore people because it's just going to complex my life so is my first promise ring and it came from myself paid for by my brother Brian. Then I'm getting a engagement ring that looks like a John Pollock painting and it's a resin ring and that's my engagement ring and then the next thing you know I'm going to find myself my wedding ring. And then I'm going to put that on me as well and then that's as far as rings are concerned that's it because that's who I am to begin with. I would have gotten away with there's a lot earlier had it not been for Marcel niguan I don't know how to spell his actual name so I just try to Sonic about it. Being sounded out and this was a general who said go get a bloody bank account go get Bitcoin go get this go get that and I was like you're a you're a ball of crap. Pretty soon I realized that he was ruining my life. Final rule my life like all the other people that try to date me they tried to rule my life and try to ruin everything about it. I forgot my roots right then and there. It was just recently I discovered who I was again and I said this time I'm not going to let this slip under my fingers. As I said it's not a form of psychopathy or narcissism is just who you are in as a person genetically some of us are genetically lesbians some straight by pan whatever but whoever you are love yourself to be kind to yourself first. No matter even if you're not a romantic. Because if you're either or romantic or mainstream lgbtq you can actually be kind to yourself and then you can actually attract the people that you need to attract in the first place my opinion I attracted myself. That was about the size of it I attracted myself that January day and I attracted myself a few days ago and I never want to quit this again even if there's a decent person online I'm going to turn them down and say no I don't date other people except for myself I just date myself as is. Vitaly was a good person she's on Twitter Twitter I enjoy following her she's one of my heroes and allies and all so my idol because why she is fat positive even though I'm skinnier than a God damn right. She's Auto romantic he was a very first person that was Auto romantic in the first place and came out through her writing. She also is a very cool stylish girl that I enjoy getting tweets from on Twitter. I believe that self-expression should be a thing of beauty not a thing of hatred but that's my opinion. After I told my mother that I was Auto romantic and auto sexual I decided I was going to date myself officially I was going to make it official on Facebook until Marcel came Marcel was a real bastard. But let's not talk about that anyway I made it official on Facebook the minute I touched my own breath and enjoyed every massage and touch on my breast I did not see anything wrong with that and I didn't see anything wrong with French kissing myself in the mirror. Is who I am to begin with because that's what it is it's who I am it's the way the cookie crumbles if you don't like it f off.
The workers at the group home were very accepting as well of me being Auto romantic and auto sexual my mother was the first one to be my fan then the Telly was my fan after that and then the workers when I told them and came out of the closet this was the second time I came out of the closet the first time was when I thought I was lesbian mainstream lgbtq not obscure lgbtq but known by the law as an orientation. There's a lot of us around I think it's rare Rarity is because people are afraid that if they come out as Auto romantic a lot of sexual that they'll be considered psychopathic and narcissistic which isn't true. If you believe in yourself that you're going to be able to tell your own story and say what you have to say getting out of that cramped damn closet then besides the point then you can get out of that cramped closet and actually be free if you know the fact that it's not going to be a mental illness or mental disability or mental or personal disorder it's just Who You Are. I believe that things happen for a reason I randomly was playing with my breasts one January morning just before I woke up and I was like this is fun this is exciting I enjoy this I love myself but let's just test the waters in French Kiss myself on the mirror. Soon enough that was it for me to know and that's when it happened again just a few days ago the massaging of my breast and then going deeper into my body to make love to it. And also making out with myself at the mirror. I don't believe that this should be a call to mental illness I've been told that this was unnatural as well by my father but then again everything was on natural to him so he was just a screw box to begin with screw box atheist. Just like my brothers I don't believe in atheism I don't believe in religion but then again I don't believe iggggYggrn politics so there how do you like them apples.