Major trigger warnings. Just. Don't. Read.
I'm so tired, tired of living. It's too much. No, I don't want to kill myself, but I wanna die, like in my sleep, just to not be here. I don't think people will care, or notice really. I know, you're reading this, and you're going to be offended, but, I don't feel like anyone would care, and that's my last decision, and agreement. I got hurt too many times, and I don't know what's real or fake, "Oh, maybe they're good?" Nope. It never ends good, not for me. Everything ends. Everything fucking ends. I'm tired. I'm so tired. I can't keep relationships, friendships, I can't even stay clean. I'm tired, tired of wanting to relapse. I'm fine, and them I'm not. I know I'm not normal, or like other people, I don't think the same, I don't feel the same, and I know I don't. I've been told, negatively and positively. I want to be normal and happy. I feel too much, I hear too much, and I think too much. I'm tired of overthinking all the time, it makes me feel guilty. I'm just tired. Tired. Everyone's going to leave, and I'm not ready for it. I'm not even going to be my writer self, and put proper paragraphs here, because I'm tired. I'm happy sometimes, but it doesn't stay. And this might just be period hormones talking, but, I want it to go away, I'm tired, I still get like this off it, and I'm scared. Scared it's coming back. Summer depression, is that real? I'm tired. I realised how much trauma I've experienced in the past two years, and that's so much. I hate it. I'm tired. I want to be happy, like, genuinely happy. I want people to like me. I don't want to annoy people, but then they complain I'm too quiet. I'm. So. Fucking. Tired.
