Dark Deal

5

         The silence was unable to be ignored. For a fleeting moment, Helena wondered if she really would be able to pretend she didn't know anything about Jack come sunrise. It's funny to think about, the light reveals things for what they are and that's why so many try to hide from it. Yet, in the dark, we're given a sense of pseudo security. We tell all because no one can tell if we're speaking the truth or not. Tonight though, tonight both spoke truth. Unbeknownst to her, the same thought traced the edges of his mind as well.

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         "My turn again," a sigh escaped her lips. She pursed them in thought. "My biggest fear is a combination of disappointing my parents and dying alone. Either it's disappointing them because I died alone, or dying alone because I disappointed them. I know my dream isn't what people hope their children will be, a writer and traveler. It's just a burning desire to see the world and help share it with others. There are places that I've only read about. I'd give almost anything to be able to put my feet there. It's such a beautiful place that to not write about it and share it with others would be a crime against man." Her rapid breaths and fiery eyes told anyone who dared to look that she hadn't been that honest with anyone - let alone herself - in a very long time. It was a riveting experience. Honesty tends to be, more often than not.

         She looked to Jack and raised an expectant brow. "The biggest fear I've ever had didn't develop until I was married. And....it's already come true three fold. Not only do I get to die alone, my daughter isn't mine and I am a failure as a husband. Why else would she seek another's arms?" Though no more tears could fall from his eyes, his anguish didn't cease to build. It found a different avenue to escape. The rapid clenching and unclenching of his fists resulting in shaky hands as he breathed deeply to calm his inner turmoil was a dead giveaway.

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         They took a moment of silence and ordered a round of drinks and appetizers. Ripping yourself open and pouring your heart out might be good to prevent festering emotional wounds, but it was physically exhausting. Two ginger ales and a mixed platter of mozzarella sticks and onion rings came to the table right on time. "I believe this is called irony. Deep fried food bound to tear our stomachs up, and ginger ale to settle the troubles before they begin." She looked at him with the corners of her mouth ever so slightly tilted up. The ghost of a smile was the closest to a real one either had experienced in the last twenty four hours.

         Raising his glass, Jack said, "To American dreams, bright lights, and....." He trailed off in thought. Helena stifled a laugh at his thinking face when he narrowed his eyes at her. She said, "And to dark deals." Her glass clinked against his in the most elegant manner.

         "Oi. A raised pinky? I thought Americans didn't do that." He laughed as she over exaggerated her extended pinky and took a dainty sip. She even  dared to stare him down while she did it. "Now you're just messing with me."

                                       *********

         "So, what do we talk about now? We've covered backgrounds, unorthodox dreams, biggest fears. What's left?" She twirled her neon straw around and stared into the bubbly commotion. "More details about them, I suppose. If you don't want to talk about your wife, you don't have to. But, I'm here if you do. And, I have to forget everything in a few hours...." She trailed off.

         "I guess if we're going to forget then there's no harm in telling all." Jack looked at her, "Tell me something you haven't told anyone else. It doesn't have to be important or serious. Just one thing. Here's mine: I hate chocolate -" Helena gasped and stared at him while gaping like a fish. He laughed, "It's not an allergy or anything like that. I just don't like chocolate. Like, ice cream is better if it's strawberry. I like strawberry milk too. Mum always told me I was an alien for that."