Be Brave.

What is toxic mentality?

Toxic mentality is where a person is unable to control their thoughts and themselves, and this leads them to bring others down with their unwanted opinions. As all of our emotions are cognitive (to do with the brain and mind) and they develop over time. Some of our emotions and thoughts get worse while others improve and both of these impact our daily lives and how we go about our day, which is quite interesting if you think about it?

So, what exactly is a toxic person and how can we spot them?

If you know someone who's difficult and causes a lot of conflict in your life, you may be dealing with a toxic person. These people can create lots of stress and unpleasantness for you and others, not to mention even physical pain or just hurt you that badly your heart begins to hurt. A toxic person is anyone whose behaviour adds negativity and upset into your life. Studies state that people who are toxic are dealing with their own problems and traumas. To do this, they act in ways that don't present them in the best light and usually upset others along the way. However, they fail to see there wrong doing and believe what they are doing is right, even though we all know it is not acceptable. Toxicity in people isn't considered as a mental disorder. But there could be underlying mental problems that cause someone to act in toxic ways, including a personality disorder such as bipolar or PTSD. 

So what signs can we look out for when trying to find out if someone might be toxic?

1. You feel like you're being manipulated into something you don't want to do.

2. You're constantly confused by the person's behaviour or sudden change in behaviour.

3. You feel like you deserve an apology that never comes.

4. You always have to defend yourself to this person.

5. You never feel fully comfortable around them.

6. You continually feel bad about yourself in their presence even if you have done nothing wrong.

If you've experienced these feelings around someone, they may be toxic. If you constantly have such emotions like these above, I highly recommend that you remove yourself from that person or group that is causing you to feel this way. Just like there are signs you are around a toxic person because of how the person makes you feel, there are signs seen in the person themselves that highlight their toxicity.

These common signs are:

Inconsistency - Part of being human is having ups and downs, good times, and bad. But a toxic person is almost never consistent. Their behaviour is erratic. They don't follow through on their commitments or promises. You never know what they're going to do next. Such inconsistency is very hard when you're trying to be there for someone. They can be elated with you one minute, writing you off the next. 

They Always Need Your Attention - Have you noticed that the person always needs something from you? Whether it's constant phone calls, texts, or showing up at your door, they always need emotional support. And they're probably not being supportive to you in return. They take all that you have without giving much back. They have a heightened level of self-interest, a need to showcase their own greatness to receive affirmation. This can be associated with narcissistic behaviour. 

There Is Always Drama - Ever notice how drama seems to follow some people? It's likely not a coincidence. Toxic people thrive in dramatic situations. They inflame emotions and create conflict. They love stirring the pot to see what happens. People are often toxic because they're not interested in being stable and healthy in relationships.

They Don't Respect Your Boundaries - Another sign of a toxic person is no boundaries. If you've been clear with someone time and again about your needs, and they just can't help themselves but to disrespect you, they are toxic. Healthy relationships are based on trust and the ability to respect boundaries. Toxic people just can't do that.

They Manipulate Others for What They Want - Do you feel taken advantage of? Manipulated? Toxic people love to manipulate those around them to get what they want. This means lying, bending the truth, exaggerating, or leaving out information so that you take a certain action or have a certain opinion of them. They'll do whatever it takes, even if it means hurting people. 

They Abuse Substances - Another toxic behaviour is the abuse of substance , such as drugs and alcohol. These behaviours become toxic when the person is continually harming other people, not to mention themselves.

So how do we deal with a toxic person and is it easier than we all think?

Now that you know the signs of a toxic person, both in the way you feel and how they act, you still may not know what to do about it. 

Here are a few strategies to try:

Confront Them - As soon as you notice toxic behaviours, confront the person. Call them out on any lies or inconsistencies. Tell them you don't appreciate how they behave. This shows them that you're paying attention — and you're giving them a chance to explain themselves or apologise. 

Set Stricter Boundaries - If you must have a toxic person in your life, try to set stricter boundaries. For example, if someone is abusing substances and it causes them to harm you or others, let them know you won't see them unless they're sober. Make it clear you won't tolerate their overly dramatic behaviour or spreading rumours about people. Limit the time you spend with them until they can change.

Cut Them Out of Your Life - If the above strategies don't work and cause even more pain, abuse, or dishonesty, it's time to let the toxic person go. Sometimes there's nothing to do but stand up for yourself and move on.

Be Brave - Be Brave and keep your head held high. One thing to remember is that if they do not deserve you, then move on. If someone is not putting in 100% into you, move on and most important of all, one rule to follow throughout your whole life:

"If Someone has to choose between you and someone else, tell them to choose the other person, because YOU are NOT an option! Periodt!"

Note:

Need advice? Details Below:

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