𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐈𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐄 [𝐣.𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫]

30: 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢 𝔟𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢 𝔞𝔩𝔞𝔯𝔦𝔢 𝔡𝔦𝔰𝔠𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔡 𝔰𝔥𝔢 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔠𝔞𝔭𝔞𝔟𝔩𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔟𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔫𝔦𝔠𝔢

On James's fifth day in the hospital wing, his fever broke suddenly. By then, his ribs and arm were mended and his head slowly cleared from its haze.

The only thing left was to tackle the residual shock from the poison, which he believed to be going rather smoothly.

Unfortunately, Madame Pomfrey would not release him for another two days, in case his condition worsened. He'd grown quite fond of the matron, though he suspected anyone would be fond of the person delivering pain medication if they were in agony for four days straight.

He was slowly being weaned off the pain potion he regularly took, but felt little more than twinges of discomfort when they lessened the dosage. Overall, he was okay.

James began to grow rather bored of the plain hospital wing, choosing to spend most of his time playing gobstones with Peter and Remus. His brow crinkled at the sight of Remus, always peaky and constantly in a state of partial consciousness.

He knew that if he and Peter didn't visit, Remus would very gladly sleep his days away.

Sometimes, James worried that Remus might kill himself.

He wondered if it was possible to overdose on sleeping potion, the way muggles did with opiates (Mary had explained those to him with the bluntness of a schoolteacher that enjoyed traumatizing its primary school pupils).

These thoughts were so awful James felt his stomach tangle in knots whenever it was brought up inside his mind. He'd wonder what was wrong with him, worry that him thinking about it would somehow transmit the thoughts into Remus's mind. But the truth was that James knew, and Peter knew, and Remus knew, that Remus wanted to kill himself.

His eyes were unfocused when he first woke up, hair tousled and squinting into the light. Then they'd sharpen, but if you looked close enough, you'd realize Remus's eyes, brilliantly sharp and alert, now reflected those of a dead man.

He was alive only on the basis that his heart was beating.

Maybe that was why Madame Pomfrey hadn't yet released Remus from the hospital wing.

Now, nearly a week after The Prank, Remus was still there, being held for observation. James snuck a glance at Remus, noting the sunken, tired look in his eyes.

********

Any time James wasn't watching over Remus was spent by Brigitte's side.

There was something empty about her room. Her dormmates minus Lily, who spent nearly every moment outside of class by her side, visited once or twice, but that was it.

As James began to delve deeper into his memories of her, he recalled that Brigitte was almost always in solitude. In fact, her only true friend, besides Lily, had been him. Though he knew she'd never admit it.

The first time he'd gone to see her, Lily had noticed him from her peripheral, and quickly, stood up, snapping her book shut almost immediately and saying she had to go her next class. She would've left her satchel behind had James not pointed it out before she fully disappeared through the hospital wing doors.

The breakup was still at the forefront of both of their minds. James remembered them as they stood in the common room, stomachs sinking as the fire flickered behind them. Lily was staring at him, and he, her.

He wondered if he could preemptively beg her not break up with him. She was all he'd ever known, puppy love at eleven, enamored at fifteen. We can work this out, he thought, desperately, I know we can.

"James," she had whispered, staring at him with tenderest expression he'd seen since they'd gotten together. "James, it's not working. This isn't working."