Amphitrite - Wilbur Soot

~seventeen~

TW: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS REFERENCES TO SEXUAL ABUSE AND SEXUAL HARASSMENT! PLEASE STAY SAFE I LOVE YOU <3

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It was the middle of the night when I felt Wilbur start to toss and turn next to me. I don't remember exactly when I had fallen asleep, but it didn't matter. What mattered to me was that something was wrong with Wilbur. His skin was coated in a sheen of sweat and his face was contorted in pain. I sat up in the bed, leaning against the headboard, unsure of how to approach this. Phil's words floated into mind: His dreams are enough to haunt us. Wilbur's dreams must've been his curse, I thought. I reached out to shake his shoulder, and his eyes shot open immediately.

He gasped for breath.

"You were sweating. Bad dream?" I whispered, my hand trailing down his arm as he sat up next to me. His hand wiped the sweat off of his forehead. I noticed the tears in his eyes, threatening to spill out.

"Yeah. Awful dream," he sighed. The hand that had wiped his sweat moved to his stomach, holding it. "God, I can still feel it."

"Feel what?"

"Just... Just something from my dream," he breathed. "Sorry for waking you up. You're probably really tired-"

"No, don't apologize. Do you want to tell me about the dream? Sometimes that helps," I interrupted him.

"I don't want to worry you."

"Let's make a deal." My hand drifted to the hand that was holding his stomach, resting on top of it. His gaze was transfixed on my fingers. "If you tell me about your dream, I'll try to tell you about my death," I said, trying my hardest to keep my voice strong. I had to be strong for him.

"I dreamt I was in a damp and dark cave. On the walls were strange phrases in my handwriting, written like some madman had lost his mind," he started. I gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "In the middle of one of the walls was a wooden button." He drew a shaky breath. "I remember needing to step away but not wanting to at all. I had the strongest urge to push it."

I let him take a pause.

"Dad came into the room, but it wasn't quite him as I know him. He looked younger, and angrier too. He told me to step away from the button. I was seeing red." Tears were beginning to spill down his face. "I told him it was never meant to be, and then I slammed my fist onto the button." He was trembling. "Lorelai, it was so loud." I could barely hear him as he tried to swallow his sobs.

"Hey, you're okay. I'm right here," I soothed, pulling him closer to me. His head came to rest on my chest. The thin fabric of my nightgown was trapped in a vice grip in between his fingers. "Talk to me, Wil."

"There were so many explosions. A wall of the room was blown away completely, revealing what I had done." A stifled sob. "An entire country laid in flames because of me. And the worst part?" His grip on me tightened even more. "I was elated. I was so damn happy to see everything burn."

"It's not real," I reminded him. He sighed before continuing.

"I tossed my sword onto the ground in front of Dad. I told him to stab me. To kill me. He yelled that I was his son and I shouted over him, urging him to do it." His whole body shook and I wrapped my arms around him, doing everything I could think of to try to console him. "He sunk the blade into my stomach, and I woke up." His eyes latched onto mine, and there was such a deep and visceral pain burning in them that I felt it in my stomach.

"You're still holding that spot. It must hurt a lot," I said, softly moving him off of me. "Can I take a look?" I asked. He nodded.

I lifted his shirt up and found a scar right under the spot he was holding. It looked new and fresh. That was certainly... weird. It looked like the kind of scar you would get from a stab wound, which was fitting, I suppose.

"Do you normally get scars from injuries in your dreams?" I asked quietly, not wanting to startle him.

"No, why?"

"You've got a new scar on your stomach. Right here." I lightly traced the outline of the scar with my fingertips. "Do me a favor and turn around. I need to check your back." He obliged, and once he was lying on his stomach I lifted up his shirt. Sure enough, a scar matched the other one, right where I expected it to be.

"Do they look bad?" He asked.

"No, not at all," I assured him, pulling his shirt back down. "I believe I must hold up my end of the deal now," I said, a couple of nervous chuckles escaping my lips.

"Have you ever told anyone about your... death?"

"Not in the detail that I owe you."

He gave me a worn smile and pulled me closer to him. "Whenever you're ready, I'll be ready to listen."

I heaved a sigh. "I was always a curious and adventurous little girl. My parents encouraged this. I was five years old when I wandered down to the beach alone, lured by the sounds of people talking and laughing. With my ignorant confidence, I walked right up to those pirates and asked them what they were doing." I could feel my chest begin to tighten and my pulse start to quicken.

"It's alright. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No!" I took a deep breath. "No, I'm fine." Another deep breath. "They humored me for a little bit until their captain wanted a different form of entertainment." I could feel Wilbur tense up beside me. "They grabbed me and took me aboard their ship. They lifted the anchor and drifted away from the shore. I still remember the texture of the rope against my wrists and ankles." My hands were shaking. Wilbur took them in his own and held them tightly. "I will never forget the feeling of his rough hands on my skin. He just couldn't get enough. Once he got tired of me, he passed me on to his crew. They were ruthless; you don't understand the horrors they put me through."

"Help me understand, then." The earnesty in his voice was like a fresh breath of spring. It nearly broke me into a million pieces.

"When you're five years old you don't understand what rape is," I whispered.

"Oh, Lorelai-" He pulled me into his chest, stroking my hair with one hand and holding me close to him with the other. "I am so, so sorry. You were five." There was a twinge of barely restrained fury in his tone.

Determined to get it all out, I continued. "Eventually, they tied a spare anchor to my ankles and tossed me overboard. I would have stayed dead had Daphne not found me and taken me back to Thetis."

After a comfortable silence, he said, "I am so proud of you for letting me know all of this. If there's anything I could ever do, just tell me."

"We've still got a couple of hours before sunrise. Let's go back to sleep, hm? I'll fight off any more nightmares," I told him with a tired smile. He grinned that golden grin back down at me as he nodded, sliding us both underneath his blankets.

He held me close to him, and for the first time in a long time, I finally felt warm.

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teehee a little bit of angst for you lovely individuals

did I just sit down and write this in the span of maybe two hours? perhaps

don't get used to the frequent updates LMAO creativity and motivation comes in waves and bursts as always

remember to drink water, eat fruits and veggies, take your meds, get some sleep, and be kind to yourself. you deserve it <3

alright well,  I'll see you beautiful frogs and fishes in the next chapter <3 take care <33333333333