Why can't I give my heart to you Yo? Ming had asked this question multiple times and he asked it again tonight as he sat on a one-seater chair with his legs close to his chest. His eyes focused on the sleeping figure on the bed.
The heart is a mysterious thing. It will never follow according to one's logic. Emotions can be hidden but never controlled to love someone people think is right. It doesn't work that way.
He sighed and leaned his head on the clear glass door. The moon illuminated the room, making the mood melancholic.
He took out his phone and opened a messaging app. He typed Phana's name but his finger hovered over his profile icon. Ming hesitated.
Wayo's words replayed in his head. There was still time to stop.
He shook his head and clicked on his profile. Ming didn't want to stop. He was full of anger and resentment. His physical and emotional scars remained.
Are you awake?
2:17 am
Who the f- would message at a time like this? What do you want?
2:20 am
Ming chuckled and typed. He didn't think the older male would respond. He was only trying his luck.
I was thinking about sex.
2:21 am
Phana didn't respond.
Hello? Asleep?
2:27 am
Ming watched the three dots icon on his screen moving and then pausing a couple of times before he received a message.
You're pestering me in the middle of the night just because you were thinking about sex? What does that have to do with me?
2:29 am
Ming could imagine Phana's twisted expression as he read the message. Feeling playful, he typed.
I like you so that's why I'm talking about sex with you.
2:33 am
Phana quickly replied. The young man was clearly playing him.
You're insane.
2:33 am
Not one to be deterred by such words, Ming continued to type and made a pause. He cringed at his own greasy words but still hit send.
Just crazy about you.
2:34 am
Blegh... Let me puke for a minute. I really doubt you like me.
2:35 am
With his phone screen illuminating his face, he laughed at the older student's reply.
Then let's say I just want to get into your pants.
2:36 am
Har har...Go to sleep Mingkwan.
2:39 am
Ming can imagine the older male rolling his eyes as he read his reply.
I'm not sleepy.
2:39 am
Ming waited for a reply, but nothing came. He typed again.
Hello?
2:41 am
P'Pha?
2:46 am
Phana sounded like he had lost patience with Mingkwan and stopped answering his messages. He didn't force him and sent one more message with a sweet tone.
See you in my dreams P'.
2:50 am
Ming found himself quite busy during the next couple of days. Even though it was the first semester, professors expect a lot from you. No more half-assed projects and reports. Students were treated like an adult. There was so much to learn with so little time. He almost wanted to quit the pageant, but he had invested so much time in it. It would be a shame to let it all go to waste.
