16. all i want

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POV: IRIS EVANS

"Iris, if you want me to stay just say the word." Connor looks at me worryingly with his suitcase in hand.

"No, i'm pretty sure I can handle Trev." I shake my head smiling. It has been less than a month since Trev's incident. He finally came home last week. I have decided i'm skipping the Paris trip so I can watch him while dad works.

Nick hasn't contacted me at all since that night, which is a good thing for him. It was for the best, but I can't help that aching feeling of wishing for him to show up at my door. My friends all hangout with him. Aled is the only one that knows what happened. I haven't had it in me to tell everyone else.

"Y'know your seat in the bus is still open. You still have time to pack..." Trev walks over to us slowly. "I'm 17, I don't need to be looked after."

"He's not wrong." Connor shrugs. "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity."

"Wow you really proved that to us, Trev." I roll my eyes. I'm still mad at him and still feel guilty for everything. "I'm staying... I don't think I can see Nick." I told Connor and Trev everything. We decided to more secrets. That means that Connor told us about him and Charlie kissing. I was pissed at Charlie for a solid day but I learned to be mature about it. They still claim to be just friends but i'm like 99% sure Connor is planning on making a move.

"Well your gonna have to deal with him in Spain." Connor reminds me. I totally forgot that we are going to Spain with them in August. Fuck.

"Maybe I'll just have to skip that too." I walk up to my younger brother and hug him. "Have fun."

"I'll call you guys when I get there." He waves and walks out of the door.

"Well what are the plans for this wonderful weekend without Connor." Trev rubs my hair, making it more of a disaster. He acts like nothing happened. He acts like I have no right to be mad at him.

"You have therapy almost every day." I remind him and his smile drops.

"Well your no fun." He pouts and walks back into his room. Trev fucked up his stomach when is overdosed. He has to eat special foods and go to doctors appointments a ton.

I miss the old him.

POV: NICK NELSON

"Where is Iris?" Charlie questions as Connor walks up to us all by himself. Iris has done everything in her will to avoid me. She doesn't even hangout with her friends when i'm there. Now she is not coming to the Paris trip and I can't help but think it's my fault. It's my fault she broke up with me because I wouldn't tell her that I love her. It's my fault she thinks shes not good enough.

"She decided to stay home with Trev." Connor half smiles while giving Charlie a hug.

"Poor girl, been through so much." Elle crosses her arms. It hurts to think about all the pain Iris is feeling but she hurt me too.

"Stop slacking around guys! Get in the bus." Mr. Ajayi yells at us. We all load or luggage onto the bus and start to walk in.

"Let's sit back here." Tao grabs Aled's arm and walks to a seat near the back. Tara and Darc sit in front of them, Connor and I sit behind them, and Elle sits by Charlie somewhere near the front. After a few minutes Mr. Farouk and Mr. Ajayi start doing attendance. I look down at Connors phone to him opening a snapchat from Iris. It's a photo of her sitting alone a couch and it's captioned 'miss me yet?' with a little smiley emoji. God she is adorable.

"She misses you." Connor must have noticed me staring. I'm not so subtle apparently.

"What are you talking about?" I pretend to be oblivious.

"Don't play stupid." He laughs and rolls his eyes. "She didn't block your number because she secretly hopes you'll text her."

"Well she should have thought of that before shattering my heart into like a billion pieces." I turn my head to look out the window.

"She love you, Nick. She only did it because she thinks she's not good enough. She's thinks you deserve better." Connors voice is soft. I don't look back over at him, I just ignore him. He's making me feel like more of a dick. I should've tried harder to keep her.

My eyes feel heavy as I lean my head on the window. Maybe i'll just sleep the whole way to Paris so I don't have to talk to Connor about Iris.

POV: IRIS EVANS

"So how's Paris day 5 going?" I asked Connor through the phone that's squished between my hear and my shoulder as I make some veggie smoothie for Trev.

"It's great. We are having a party tonight. Really missing you." I can hear his smile.

"Dad, Trev, and I will pick you up from the school tomorrow. Anyways, what's the sleeping situation like?" I ask with a certain tone.

"Well, Tao and Aled are sharing while Nick sleeps on the pullout." He avoids my real question. He was actually supposed to share with Ben and some other dick heads but they got into a fight after Trev's incident and haven't talked since so Charlie offered to let him stay with them.

"You know what I mean, Connor." I roll my eyes, knowing he can't see.

"Yes, Charlie and I are sharing a bed. Grow up." He whisper yells.

"Well I gotta go give this man child his smoothie. Tell everyone I say hi, love you!" I pour the gross looking concoction into a large glass.

"Love you too." He hangs up.

"Trev!" I yell out for my older brother. "Trevor?" I walk down upstairs to his bedroom door. I knock. No answer. I start to panic. What if it's happening again. "Trev! Let me in!" I start to bang louder.

"What!?" The door swings open. He rubs his eyes. He's been sleeping. I let out of noise of relief.

"I... I made you a smoothie." I hand the green mixture to him.

"Thanks, I guess." He raises an eyebrow. He takes a sip. "Ew! What the fuck is this?"

"Your dinner." I walk back downstairs.

POV: NICK NELSON

I'm sat here on Tara and Dracey's bed feeling dead. I don't usually drink but I couldn't help myself tonight. My mom only lets me have beers at special occasions so i'm not used this particular feeling. All my friends are sat in a circle playing truth or dare while I drown in self pity.

"I think i'm going to be sick." I look up to see Darcey and Tara running out of the room with almost everyone following. I thought I would enjoy this trip. I thought it would take my mind off of things but all I can think about is Iris.

"Nick we gotta go back to our room." Aled shoves me off the bed and tumble on the floor. "C'mon."

"Fine!" I get up and slowly make my way out of the girls room.

"How much did you have to drink?" He asks as we walk down the hall to our room.

"Not much." I giggle.

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