A Birdie Lost in Time | Bucky Barnes

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Marlow wasn't sure if Steve and Sam were still in the office as her and Bucky slipped into the med room, but she didn't push for it. She didn't want to explain why her nerves were on edge and she couldn't bring herself to feel at ease.

And thankfully, Bucky didn't make conversation. The few times she let her eyes wander to him, he looked just as anxious as her; eyes cast to his plate and body stiff. She wasn't sure why, whether it was because of her or—who was she kidding? Of course, it was her. She couldn't walk through a damn dining hall.

What is wrong with me?

She dropped her gaze to her plate, jaw clenched as she scanned over her food in disinterest.

He got you lunch, eat it.

It's not that difficult.

She stabbed a strawberry and bit it off her fork, but something about it felt wrong. She wasn't nauseous, it didn't taste bad, but eating was just wrong. In frustration, she dropped her fork—much more aggressively than she'd meant—and Bucky's eyes shot to her.

"Sorry," she grit, "I'm just... I don't..."

"It's alright, you don't need to explain," he mumbled before he looked down to her food. "And you don't need to eat the rest. It's good you had some though."

It shouldn't be an accomplishment to eat!

These are basic things. Why can't I do them?

God, it felt like everything was baring down on her, like no matter what she was thinking about, it was wrong.

It's all wrong!

She needed... she needed...

Space.

Somewhere she could just... be alone. Completely alone. Away.

"Can I... I'm going—to shower," she choked out. "I need..."

He nodded, staying silent when she stood and watching as she slipped into the small bathroom where she grabbed the towel that had been replaced after her last shower. She knew the way from her trips in the previous weeks, and her mind was so focused on getting out of the room that she didn't even spare Bucky a 'goodbye'; just let her hurried steps carry her away.

She didn't register that she'd arrived until her hand was pushing open the door, the cool plastic snapping her back to reality. She was halfway through when her mind finally processed her situation, and it caused her to freeze.

They were communal showers.

When she'd been brought before, Doctor Green and Bucky had made sure no one would come in, both for their safety and her privacy. But no one was with her this time.

When she didn't hear anything from inside, she pushed through the door hesitantly, rounding the corner until she found the row of shower stalls empty, their curtains pulled open and their walls dry.

Curtains.

Easily moved.

Not secure.

She stood, staring, frozen with the thought that someone could walk in when she was showering.

You're fine.

You've showered beside people before.

For fucks sakes, with Hydra, you didn't have a stall or curtain.

You just—

She turned, walking directly for the door. She could get a cloth and wash in the bathroom attached to the med room. She could wash her hair in the sink. No one could walk in or ambush—