Soulmates (Solby)

Chapter 30

Colby's POV

Elton looks at the ouija board for a few seconds, then turns to me. "Colby, when was the last time you used a ouija board?"

"About a month ago," I say. "Corey and I were filming a video for his channel in his childhood home, and we were trying to contact the shadow man."

Corey looks at me with the same surprised look on his face. "You really had to bring up the shadow man."

I put my hands up in defeat. "That was part of the video, bro."

I pull my phone out of my pocket and see that I have a notification from Instagram.
samgolbach just posted a photo, reads the notification.

I click on it and pull up the brand new post Sam made just now. I read the caption silently to myself.

We missed you guys.

I look at all the positive comments telling Sam and I that they love us. Then I look at the picture on the screen.

I remember how happy I was the day I came home from the hospital. It felt weird to be a patient at a mental hospital as opposed to being an explorer. But I was also terrified that the fans were going to turn on me when I revealed to them why I'd taken a break from YouTube.

I will never forget the video I posted to my channel, wearing one of my favorite hoodies that Sam had bought for me and my signature black beanie.

I'm Sorry was the title of the video.

I cried so much in that video as I explained my suicide attempt, my mental health issues, and my treatment at a long term mental hospital. But I smiled a lot, too.

And it was because I was talking about Sam and how he'd been there for me through everything. He always makes me feel loved, no matter what's happening.

The comments were nothing but positive and supportive, and that made me feel even more loved.

I swipe to the second photo. I'd had a nightmare that night about running through the woods when I heard Sam calling out for help. When I found him, he was dead. It had been a reoccurring nightmare that I had off and on for a few months since we'd gone to the witches forest the first time.

I wonder if Sam still has the reoccurring nightmare he used to have of me laying dead on the floor of a hospital. Those dreams started shortly after I'd left to go to the hospital. When I came home, Sam told me about them. I spent the night comforting him and holding him with his head on my lap while he fell asleep to the sound of me singing to him.

I swipe again and as soon as I see the third photo, I can't help but smile. Sam and I had a very meaningful conversation that night about mental health and how the stigma that surrounds it to this day is unbelievable.

"Are you ashamed of me?" I asked him.

He looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes. "I've never been ashamed of you, Colby. And I never will be."

My eyes filled with tears, and I cried from happiness. Sam is the only person who makes me feel better in my darkest times. He makes me happy more than anything else.

I look at the last two pictures on the post. Then I write a comment and post it.

Solby is back and better than ever.

I look at the photos one more time. Then, for some reason, I'm reminded of Brennen and the very first time we had an intimate moment together.

It was a week after Sam and I had broken up. I was sitting down on the floor in my room, tears streaming down my face. The feeling of missing Sam was becoming more intense, and I felt like I was alone. I'd thought about cutting myself, but I was trying to fight it. The voice in my head kept getting louder, telling me how everyone would be better off without me.

Sam was, and still is, the only person who makes the voice in my head go away. When he left me, it was constant, and it wouldn't leave me alone.

As I sat on the floor in the corner of my room, I heard two familiar voices out in the hallway.

"He keeps getting worse," Elton said. "I'm always afraid that he's going to hurt himself."

"I'll see what I can do," Brennen said.

Elton and Brennen came into my room. I looked up at them, not knowing what was going to happen. Then Brennen sat down next to me.

"Hey, Colby," he said.

I wiped the tears from my face. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm making sure you're okay," he said, looking at me with reassurance.

"I'm not okay," I snapped. "Sam left me, and he's never coming back. I just want him here. I need him."

I started crying again. Brennen took my hand. "It's okay, Colby. I'll be here. I know I'm not Sam, but I can still be here for you."

"Let me guess. Elton brought you here to get me to open up about what's wrong with me."

"Everyone is worried about you, Colby," Elton says. "You've been going on a downward spiral since before the breakup. And now that Sam's gone, you keep getting worse. You won't talk to me or any of the roommates about what's going on with you. And I can tell that you feel alone. So I brought Brennen because I know you'll talk to him."

There was a pause.

"He reminds you of Sam. I know he's not Sam, but you'll talk to him."

I looked at Elton, then back at Brennen. "You're not Sam. I don't want you. I want him."

More tears ran down my cheeks. Brennen tried to wipe them away.

"I'm sorry. Elton made you come all the way down here just to comfort me. And you shouldn't have."

"You can't possibly think that, Colby," Brennen said.

"No," I said. "How can you do this for someone like me?"

I wasn't upset at Brennen. I was just letting my emotions out, which he listened to without judging me.

Brennen looked down at my wrist as my sleeve from my hoodie rode up just a little bit. Fresh red cuts marked my wrist. "Colby," he said.

I nodded. "I know. I'm sorry."

I felt bad about everything going on in this moment. And I truly felt like I was alone.

"I have nothing left to give," I said, starting to cry again.

"Come on, Colby. That's not true," Brennen said.

"Yes, it is," I said. "I'm nothing."

"You're not nothing," Brennen said, continuing to wiped the tears from my face. "You mean everything to everyone. You're important to me. You're important to Elton and our friends."

"I just want Sam," I said.

Brennen and I pulled each other into a hug. I pretended he was Sam as I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tight. I was so devastated and heartbroken.

Elton found the blade I'd used to cut myself with in the bathroom. Then he looked at Brennen and me.
I pulled Brennen closer to me, as though he were something more than a friend.

Then I cried until I couldn't anymore, falling asleep and starting to dream of Sam and I getting back together again.

As I come back to reality, the thought of Brennen reminds me of how unhappy I was with him. When Sam left me, I wasn't happy. Even with Brennen. I wanted Sam. Not him.

I reach for Sam's hand, but then I realize he's not here. "Where's Sam?" I ask.

Everyone looks up at me. We all give each other confused looks. And we're all thinking the same thing.

Sam must have gone to find out who's following us.
And I have to find him before I lose him for good.

Hey, guys. More chapters are on the way. Keep reading to find out what happens next.