i'm crying and digging myself into a hole. i'm thinking that maybe it just isn't worth it. by 'it' i mean life.
I love so much. I'm not quite capable of loving so it might come across as awkward. Don't worry, sometimes i come to a halt and second guess my affections as well, feelings follow soon after. how am i supposed to know whether i writhe in sorrow when really it could just be a delusion created to justify my attitude of sloth and greed followed by my disassociation and neglect of duty.
you're all bark and no bite.
you preach empty words yet still collect the donations.
you take words and sow them together until they sound pretty in hopes of creating a distraction. I don't want you to see how ugly i really am.
when this feeling over comes me i have an impulse. It whispers in my ear to plunge something into my chest and dig out the cause of my grief. a rotten heart.
when the thoughts follow the feelings i have no other choice but to rid my body of them as well. Shaking my head and losing my mind, scratching, banging, pulling and punching, onlookers would think i'm crazy, they are correct.
please just kill me now.
