what if? (book number 2)ogcale

just a vent skip if you want

When I was younger I failed a grade and I made a promise myself not to fail a grade again.
But when I found out that I failed the grade this year.
I don't know I just feel so disappointed in myself.
I broke a promise between me and my little self.
My mother and father they don't care as long as I still go to school they'll see this as an opportunity.
But my aunt and uncle they see this as a disappointment
They told me it was a shame that I just lost a year..
Well yeah it's true I lost it but at least I'm still going to school..
Aren't you proud of me for still going to school?
I'm a human too so why can't I fail and restart again.
Now I'm on to Stricker rules..
They told me to change they told me to stay quiet they told me to not be me..
And I'm sad because of that people who I thought I could trust want me to change they want me to be quiet, obedient and they want me to respect them even though they dont respect me?

The sad factor in parents or parental figures is sometimes they never see it.

They never see that you're hurting they never think you need a little help in your mental stability they think they think school is what makes you happy it's cool is sometimes something that makes you sad that makes you broken makes you angry.

In many family there is the oldest who was supposed to be the golden one.
who was supposed to protect and to grow up to have a loving family.

There is the middle one the Forgotten one the one who would always get up the one who Break Free the one who forgets you the one who more successful.

And the youngest one the child the baby of the family The Golden Butterfly of success or you could say the favorite..

But some roles don't always stay the same.

like my brother he gave up on school he's going next year again he didn't graduate.
but me I'm supposed to graduate not allowed to quit or give up just because I'm a girl why is Society like this?

I understand I'm a minor but that doesn't mean I can't do what he does.

I'm not an extrovert like my brother.

I'm more of an introvert one who likes to stay home.
One who doesn't talk much but at least I still try so why!

why can't they be happy that i still go to school!

so why can't you accept the fact that I failed for once for once in my entire life I'll remember this..

I didn't want to be in the spotlight.

I wanted to be with my brother in the same school but when he gave up that.

I couldn't my dream was already broken from the start.

I wanted to be an animator but now I don't even know if I can..
Yes I understand you're disappointed in me that I failed a grade

but if I had a child that failed grade.

I would feel sad because  it's my fault I didn't take care of my child I didn't help her or him or them.
I would hug them.
I would console them and tell them it wasn't your fault you can always restart again!
so why can't you do that why can't you comfort me...

Please just tell me what have I done wrong...

Not doing this for attention I just needed to vent okay past few days have been s***** so please just let me vent a little