Book of literal shit

Childe meets Zhongli

Contains: brief mention of smut, exploding walls

The door opens with a foreboding creak. Ningguang strides in, fearless, and Childe sucks in a breath at the sight of a shadowed figure reclining in a massive throne of uncomfortable looking stone and gold at the far end of the hall.

"My penis is growing bored," A deep voice howls.

Childe swoons, cock throbbing furiously. The vibrations from Lord Morax's voice were knee-quaking. He fell onto his knees, crawling with a reverent fervor towards the throne.

He immediately fell upon Zhongli's massive nine foot cock, and began lavishing the furiously hard magic wand with his tongue. "Heavens above, I've been blessed!" He cried, tears of joy falling unashamedly from his eyes.

Zhongli screams in joy, and Xiao appears in an instant. "My lord!??" The green adeptus shouted in concern. Zhongli pulled the fattest gigachad face in an instant, displaying all of his chadness in a glorious burst of square chins and gigantic roblox-type beat smirks.

"I," He said, voice thunderous.

"I am getting bitches."

With those words, the walls imploded.

Childe moaned, too turned on to breathe.

Zhongli farted.

—

Somewhere in the far distance, a nation away, Barbatos raised an eyebrow in a tavern as an earthquake shook the ground.
Diluc pauses, turning to stare at the walking green avocado with a harp. "Can I help you?" He asks mildly, seemingly unconcerned by the building shaking.

Barbatos only sighs, slumping against the bar.

"Morax is getting laid again," He mutters sullenly.