Loving You Is Easier When I'm Dead

Loving You

It felt like the fall in a rollercoaster, but scarier and more painful. Everything in him seemed to hurt. All sounds were blocked out by the wind whining in his ears. A loud splat sounded and a scream in pain that he couldn't hear if it was himself or Fred's as they hit the surface.

Jackie felt an icing pain go up his leg as a sharp rock made a hole in it. Opening his eyes, he realized that he was under water, it was dark and everything was covered in dark red. Blood. If it was his own or his lover's, he didn't know. He swam. Up, up to the surface.

Once he was up, he climbed onto one of the rocks. He wasn't relieved that he was alive, he was disappointed. Hitting himself in the skull, he muttered something that sounded like "stupid, stupid, why didn't it work? Think, Jackie, think".

Fred. Where was Fred? Panic struck the boy and he started looking around in the water, the moonlight lighting it up faintly.

Something dark and big was laying a few feet away from him, not far away from a huge rock.

"Fred!" Jackie gasped, throwing himself toward the body of his loved one. He was laying face first in the water, blood surrounding him. Jackie flipped him over, letting out a sob as he saw that the boys T-shirt was torn open, as well as his skin.

"Fred," He wailed, his eyes big in horror. He embraced his boyfriend tightly, his body in his arms. Suddenly, he heard weak coughing from Fred.

"Fred? Fred!!"

"I did it, Jackie, didn't I?" the boy managed and opened his eyes weakly, he small smile on his lips. The sight was horrifying and Jackie didn't know whether to cry or scream.

"No, Fred, please don't leave me," he mumbled instead, kissing his wet forehead. The boy was shaking in his arms, trying to say something, but only coughing up blood. Jackie sobbed, looking down at the boy who he fell in love with as he slowly died in his arms, not being able to do anything.

As Fred's eyes lost it's gleam and it's life, Jackie liften his head up and screamed. Louder than he had ever screamed before. He put the corpse of his lover back on the rock that had created the wound and sobbed over his body, wishing that it had worked out for both of them, that he would be dead right now. He almost hoped that non of them would be dead, that both of them survived.