bullseye ➵ daryl dixon

FIRST NEW CHAPTER IN THREE YEARS

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN | s t u n t

12/08/22

"It's the baby, I think I lost it." Lori said, sitting on the cell bed with Adira and Hershel crouched down in front of her.

"You haven't felt it move?" Hershel asked, sharing a look with Adira. They'd known Lori's pregnancy would be hard, and the closer it got to Lori's due date, the more frightening the prospect of delivering a baby in this world was. Adira had done rotations in the NICU and OB/GYN, and Hershel had delivered hundreds of animals during his life on the farm. But neither of them had ever experienced delivering a human baby without any tools or meds at all.

Lori sniffed, but continued on with determination for her baby. "Nothing. And no Braxton-Hicks. At first, I thought it was exhaustion and malnutrition."

Adira's head tilted at that. "You're anemic?"

Lori nodded, barely holding it together. "If we're all infected, then so is the baby. So what if it's stillborn? What if it's dead inside me right now, what if it rips me apart?"

Hershel cut her off. "Stop. Don't let your fear take control of you."

Lori continued anyways, her worry evident. "Okay. Let's say it lives, and I die during childbirth."

Hershel didn't want to think about that, and quickly responded. "That's not going to happen."

Adira grasped Lori's hand, willing the woman to feel better as tears began to wet her eyes. "Why not? How many women died in childbirth before modern medicine? If I come back, what if I attack it? Or you? Or Rick? Or Carl?" She took a pause, shaking her head. Her voice dropped into a pained whisper as she continued. "If I do, if there is any chance, you two put me down immediately, you don't hesitate. Me, the baby, if we're walkers, you don't hesitate, and you don't try to save us! Okay?"

Hershel and Adira nodded, seeing no other way to placate the mother. Adira had to admit, she had stayed up many late nights thinking of the same scenarios. She didn't see any path forward leading to any easy birth, and knew that the fact was that either Lori, the baby, or both were going to die. But telling Lori that now wouldn't solve anything. She had to be calm for the birth, or it would be even more difficult.

 Lori's breath hitched. "It might have been better if..."

 "If what?" Adira asked, shifting her weight to sit cross-legged on the bed and facing Lori fully.

"If I'd never made it off the farm." Lori admitted.

Adira knew she'd been having a hard time, but the road hadn't allowed them to sit still long enough to have these deep conversations. Every spare second was talking about what the plan was for the next day, and getting rest. Her eyes widened, but she found she wasn't surprised that Lori felt this way. All of the stress she was under in tandem with the pregnancy hormones were likely exacerbating her worries. Adira had been in the same spot for the entirety of the world's end just due to stress; she could not imagine how the thought of having a baby so soon would affect her feelings.

She wasted no time looking Lori straight in the eyes, and saying with as much certainty in her voice as she could project, "You're exhausted, frightened."

Lori breathed heavily. "Yeah, that's true. My son can't stand me. And my husband, after what I put him through."

Hershel interjected, "We've all been carrying that weight. All winter." Adira nodded, knowing what he meant. No one had come out of the situation on the farm coming to terms with what had happened. Beth had filled her in, and Adira was well aware that everyone left alive had a similar story to tell. Humans had changed since the world fell, and no one remained who hadn't had to deal with others turning on them.