This is For You || Max Mayfield

Chapter 1: Dreading It

Warnings: some depressive mentions, drugs, PTSD, body dysmorphia

Ash has learned a lot about herself the past 7 and a half months, one being how much she loves drawing, second being how comfortable her bed is, third being how she loves Max more than herself, and last being how much she hates herself for what happened in January of 1986.

Steve's been helping her get out of bed and stay motivated, helping her with her homework that she never does to the best of his ability since he's not too good at Algebra and Biology, but also helping her talk about how she's feeling by signing her up for Ms. Kelly's guidance, which Ash just didn't go to.

Ash has been thankful for Steve, the hardest part about Max breaking up with her was the realization that they both weren't doing too hot, with Ash having terrible PTSD with the sauna incident and the fact that she died in Max's arms, it just wasn't the best thing for Max, especially since she was battling her own shit too.

They stayed friends, checking in on each other from time to time, but Ash realized it was one-sided because Max slowly stopped sharing her own shit, so they haven't really talked for a month which Ash blamed herself for, and she didn't realize how much she loved Max until she lost her and then Ash found herself talking to Robin about it which helped a lot.

Robin basically became Ash's older sister and comedic relief partner, when it came to Ash being serious, Robin would be too, when Ash needed a laugh, she gifted it.

I guess you could say for the past month, life began getting good again, Ash started talking to Dustin again, joining him at Hellfire sometimes but not playing, just watching.

Unfortunately something that came out of Hellfire was Ash helping Eddie deal on the side, but she thankfully kept it a secret from everybody except for Robin who always told her it was a bad idea.

Now Ash was drawing in the back of Steve's car, on the way to school. Today was the last day before Spring Break which she's been looking forward to for the past 2 weeks.

"And then there's Heidi tomorrow night, but the problem with Heidi is that she's going out of state for college. So it's like do I really want to start another relationship that has no point other than sex?" Steve ranted to the two girls, Robin was putting on mascara in the mirror, Ash wasn't really paying attention to his words, "I mean, I don't know. Does that make sense to either of you?" he looked at the two girls who didn't respond, "hello? Are you listening to me? Robin?"

"Uh, yes I'm listening." Robin stuttered, putting her mascara down.

"Then what did I just say? Ash?"

Ash kept her eyes down, "I'm not listening don't ask me."

Steve sighed and turned back to Robin who was trying to find words, "uh, uh something about sex w-with Linda!"

"No! I'm talking about Heidi!"

"Cut me some slack, please! Your love life is one of labyrinthine complexity. It is 7:00 in the morning, we have to go to this stupid pep rally, and I woke up looking like a total corpse." Robin stretched her face in the mirror.

Ash sighed and looked at her, "Rob, you're beautiful. Shut up."

Robin turned to her, "Ash you can't say that you look great all of the time, especially since you got a haircut and bangs." Ash shook her head and looked back down at her journal, Robin grabbed it out of her hands.