An Unknown Feeling ( A JIKOOK FF)

1.

The car came to a screeching halt, snapping Jimin out of his haze. It was really happening. He was half excited and half nervous. The dust finally setting and reality hitting him that a new journey awaits him as he enters the BigHit University Campus, Seoul.

Park Jimin, a beautiful boy whose almond shaped brown eye sparked when he smiled and disappeared into lovely crescents when he truly smiled from wholeheartedly, his shiny black hair that came into his eyes. His pouty pink lips that were always tugged into a smiled whenever he passed someone. His mochi cheeks that turned pink whenever he blushed after receiving a compliment. Standing tall at 5'8", he was considered short compared to his peers making him look younger than he is. Just being a little on the heavier side Jimin was always self conscious and never believed his was handsome.

First time moving out of home and into a dorm which will become his residence for the next four year of his life. Pursuing a degree in Communication Design in one of the top institutes in the world make Jimin feel jittery.

All his unresolved childhood fears of not being good enough coming to surface. Bit taking a deep breath , he pushed aside those feelings and focused on moving in.

Getting his dorm room ready and decorating it so it does not feel like four walls with a bed and desk. He added a family picture to the desk, a cute plushie of chimmy onto the bed after adding the beddings and a comforter. Put up a clock on the wall and stuck a F.R.I.E.N.D.S quotes poster on his wall knowing this will be his home for the next few years. It was a comfortable room for one person with a bed, desk and chair and a closet with mirror on it.

His mother who had accompanied him, helping him set up the room to his liking.

Jimin's mother Jina was a renowned and acclaimed Professor of History in University of Busan. She was an epitome of intelligence and grace. Her aura commanded respect and anyone who met her was charmed by her knowledge. But to Jimin she was his pillar of strength, no matter what happened, he knew he could relay on her. Even thought sometimes she could be emotionally unavailable and left Jimin to deal with his emotions alone.

By the time they finished organizing the room, it was already time for dinner. So Jimin and his mother went to a nearby café to grab a bite. Jina reminded Jimin that he had to do well to prove his father and his family wrong.

Jimin shivered at that and pushed back all emotions to pretend that he was fine. They continued their conversation about the weather and what all Jimin might need in his first semester.

Finally, they took a cab back to the university dorms and it was time for Jimin to bid goodbye to his mother and go back to the dorm. Jimin was filled with anxiety and fear but didn't say a word.

"Don't worry about anything Jimin. You'll do well. Just focus on your studies and make friends."

"Thank you mommy. I'll do that."

"I love you baby and I'll miss you. Call me if you need anything."

"I love you to mommy" Jimin said as tears threatened to fall from his eyes.

Jina pulled Jimin into a bone crushing hug and both couldn't help the little tears that trickled down their eyes and kissed Jimin's forehead.

"Bye and I'll miss you too". Jimin said as he walked back to his dorm looking back in between to wave goodbye to his mother.

Once he reached his dorm room. He let out the flood gates and sobbed. It was the first time in eighteen years he was going to be all alone and deal with the world. He was scared that he won't be able to make friends and might not do well and disappoint his mother.

He briefly recalled the conversation his mother and his father had before they left Busan. His father had told his mother," Even if took Jimin five or six years to finish the degree it's okay, it's a miracle that he got into such a great University".
Jina was appalled but immediately replied," my son will do well and has never failed anything. Don't say such things,". His father tried to defend himself." I was just trying to be supportive."

Jimin's father, Eunji was a real piece of work. He was a Project Manager at IBM. He always believed that Jimin was never good enough and was an below average student. He would always pass sarcastic comments on Jimin's weight and looks making Jimin insecure and conscious.

Whenever Jimin was left with his father Eunji when he was a child, Eunji always ended up fighting with Jimin like a siblings and making the poor child cry. Eunji would always say hurtful things despite his good intentions. He always said that's how his family raised him to be tough and make his stronger.

But Jimin was a sensitive boy all the negative things said affected him and make his self esteem really low. He wouldn't say anything as calling either of his parents out resulted in more scolding.

Jimin composed himself and got ready to sleep. He went to the common dorm bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face.

He greeted the few people that passed him and begin doing his nighttime routine. While internally trying to calm himself.

Once he returned to his room. He popped onto the bed realizing that it was already 11pm and he better sleep so that he would be fresh for the first day. He set his alarm for the next day, picked out clothes and keep neatly on the desk

But sleep seemed to evade him, new place, new bed getting used to the atmosphere takes time. So, he put on a random episode of the series F.R.I.E.N.D.S and started watching on his bed till he fell asleep.