Adventures in Babysitting Boyfriends - SpideyPool OneShot

Adventures in Babysitting Boyfriends

A/N: So this is the beginning of the 'crimesofadeadpool begs his readers for marvel related prompts' series. (More in the End Notes section).

Anon asked for:

'a spider pool fix where peter get sick and maybe wade takes care if him ? Spidey keeps trying to go out and fight bad guys and wade has to keep bringing him home until he stays'

"I'm home!" Wade sung cheerfully as he entered his apartment, carrying four shopping bags on each arm. He dropped them in the centre of the kitchen. "Peter!" he called, "get up and help your loving boyfriend put away this shopping that he definitely, totally, legally acquired."

Finally Peter made an appearance. "Okay."

Wade looked at him in shock and dropped the bag of frozen chips. "Peter?" he squeaked.

Peter scowled and wrapped his dressing gown around himself tighter. Wade hadn't even know Peter owned a dressing gown. That thought was quickly pushed away by the thought that Peter looked like absolute crap. He was pale and snotty and somehow looked like he'd lost a ton of weight in the past twenty-four hours.

"I'm fine," Peter mumbled. "What needs to be put away?"

Wade shook his head dumbly and closed the distance between them. "Forget the food!" he exclaimed - a sentence he never thought he would utter. "You need a doctor! What happened? Did someone do this to you?"

Peter tried to give him a condescending look, but failed entirely. "I'm a bit sick."

"A bit sick? You look like Death's a hat drop away. And I would know, having been invited into her house once or twice. Lovely lady." He shook his head. "No helping for you today." He picked Peter up, and carried him back into their bedroom.

Peter made a frustrated noise. "It's just a bug."

Wade dropped him onto the bed. "Hmpph."

Peter tried to sit up, but was racked with a fit of coughs. Wade patted his back anxiously.

"I'm not good with sick people," he said, worriedly. "What should I do?"

"Nothing," Peter replied after he'd stopped coughing. "It's nothing."

Wade pulled a face. "I'm supposed to make chicken soup, I think. But I didn't know you were sick so... I mean, I could cut up the chicken breast I got and put it in a bowl of boiled water, but somehow I don't think that's the same-"

Peter lay down. "I just need a bit of sleep."

Wade nodded. "Okay. I'll just...go put the shopping away."

XXX

Wade pulled on his mask.

After spending the day, wasting away the time till Peter would be better (any attempts to comfort or look after his boyfriend being ignored), he had come to realise that if Petey was bedridden, then someone would need to fill Spider-Man's (extremely well-fitting) spandex for the night.

He snuck into the bedroom, needing to retrieve his katanas, and came face-to-face with an equally dressed up Spider-Man.

"Peter, what are you doing?!"

"Me? What are you doing?"

"I asked you first."

Peter reluctantly handed over his Avengers communicator, chirping about aliens attacking Central Park.