I Choose You. | SEULRENE

Chapter XIX

Seulgi's POV

"You know how the indus--" Is this her reason?

"Do you want to be with me?" I asked.

"It doesn't matter--"

"It does matter!" I raised my voice. "I'll understand it if you reasoned out that you don't feel the same way I do, but it's not the case. Isn't it? If you're worrying about my career, don't!" I said. Why do I feel like she's doing the same thing I did before?

"You can't make me do that, Seulgi! This is your dream, remember?! Why would I just ignore the possibility that this relationship, you want to have, can ruin your career!" This time she she's already raising her voice too. I want to have? It was just me then. I laugh.

"I'm so stupid." This time, I just drive the car, silently. She keeps calling for me and telling me to stop the car, I just ignored it, until I reach my house.

"Seulgi, can you just listen to me." she said. I can sense her, unbuckling her seatbelt and face me. I was about to go out of the car already, when she grabbed my arm. "Seul, please." when I face her, I saw tears started streaming down her face already. "I thought you'd understand. You did this before--"

"And what did it cost me, Hyun?!" I cut her off. "Do you know how much I regret doing that!? Leaving you behind was probably the biggest mistake I've made. Did you think it was that easy? During those years... I kept convincing myself that what I'm doing is right, that I'm just protecting you. Only to know that I've made a huge mess when I left, later. I've made you suffer--"

"Seul--"

"I'm full of regrets, Hyun! I'm so embarrassed with what I did before, I don't even know where I got the audacity to still ask things from you." she was about to speak up when I did not let her. I reach for her hand. All I know now is I badly want her back.

"I'm sorry that I left you without a proper explaination, I didn't even said goodbye. I'm sorry for being so impulsive that time. I'm sorry I was weak, I was a coward, and I was scared. I'm sorry if I decided for the both of us. I'm sorry, I still left even after knowing your side. I'm sorry for ignoring and not respecting your decision."

"Seulgii" she whined.

"If you're really rejecting me because you're worrying about my career, I'm not accepting it. You choose me over your career, before. I'm choosing you over anything now. I can't lose you for the same reason again, Hyun, I can't." I said those staring straight through her eyes. "I beg you, Hyun. Don't do the same thing I did, years ago. Please. I was selfish before, I didn't even asked you what you wanted."

"You just did what you thought was right for me--"

"I didn't gave you a choice!" I raised my voice. "Call me a hyprocrite, but I don't want you to do that to me. Not just because it'll hurt me, also because I don't want you to end up having regrets like I have. Giving up the person I love most..." my vision is getting a little blurry. No, not now. "Shit!"

"Seulgi? Yah! Kang Seulgi!" I heard her before I lost my consiousness.

Irene's POV

"Unnie, what happened? She was just okay this morning." Jimin asked. She was the only person left here since Joy and Yeri have schedules.

"Did I ask for too much?" I look up to see Jimin already looking at me, before turning my gaze back to Seulgi.

"What did you--"

"I told her that it's better for us to just be friends, after she confessed." I said.

"You told her what?! Unnie!"

"and did you know what she told me after? She said, she can't be friends with me." I reach for Seulgi's hand. "When I heard her say that, I got scared. There's something in me that wants to keep her as close. If we can't be friends, wh--"

"Why did you even ask her to just be friends, in the first place? As far I know you had this huge crush on her, even before knowing your past with her." Jimin said. Her voice sound so frustrated.

"She's just new to the indus--" She cut me off.

"Okay stop!" I look at her. "Please tell me Seulgi unnie didn't hear that bullshit reason from you." I can see disappointment in her eyes already. "Are you really my sister?! Did you just forget the fact you almost died chasing after her. You were willing to lose everything just for Seulgi unnie. Now, you're telling me you just want to be friends with her because it might ruin her career?! You didn't even care about your career before, what makes you think that Seulgi unnie thinks differently? You've already experience being left behind, why--"

"I did not." I said. That makes her look at me confused. "Maybe my past self did, but I didn't." I can see that she was taken aback. "Knowing that I can sacrifice anything for her, before, as well as she for me. It made me question myself and my feelings for her.

Even though I really want to be with her, I don't know how to. She sees me as the person she was in love with, years ago. I don't even know if I changed but I think I'm not that person anymore.

I tried. I tried giving it a chance. I did see sincerity when she talks and do things for me, but whenever she does that I always feel guilty. Not remembering her felt like those gestures are really not meant for me.

"Is this the reason why you've decided living here?" Jimin asked and I just nodded.

"Maybe if I didn't have this Amnesia, things will work out just fine for the both of us."

"Unnie, listen." Jimin walk to where I am before lowering herself, since I'm sitting in Seulgi's bed. "You're still you, unnie, even after the accident. That's the reason why even after doing those things in the past, Seulgi unnie is brave enough to pursue you again. It's because she knew you're still the same Joohyun she's in love with, despite you not remembering her. She knew you'll understand her.

I know this seems like I'm on Seulgi unnie's side here, which I really am, but I don't think she deserves that reason you gave her. You could've just told her you don't like her, Oh! You can't do that because you do like her. Or you could just be honest with her and tell her what you just told me now." She smiled at me. I hugged her

"Thank you, Jimin."

"I know you know that what you felt for her is already beyond liking someone. Tell me, are you really woried about Seulgi's career or you're just worried about other people's reactions?" I let go of Jimin.

"No, I'm scared that Seulgi might not take it well." I admit. "I'm not scared of what other people might think, I'm scared for her. Who wouldn't be worried?! When everytime her emotions get ahead of her, she fainted." I can see my sister has this teasing smile already.

"You're planning of just being friends with her, because yo think being in a relationship with her might worsen her condition, since you two might recieve negative feedback?" she said I just nodded. "But you do want to be in a relationship with her?"

"Honestly? I do. I really do."

"You told me she doesn't want to be friends with you. What's gonna happen to you now?"

"She's not going to have any other choice but to date me." I then hear someone spoke beside me. I look at her direction. I didn't notice that she moved. She's already leaning on the headboard, her eye smile is visible already.

"Excuse me. I think I have to leave now." Jimin suddenly spoke I turn gaze to her. She knew, she knew Seulgi was awake already. I grabbed her wrist before she could leave. "Don't glare at me, now speak to you're girlfriend. You kept claiming her, as your girlfriend, now take responsibility for it." She then remove my hand on her wrist before leaving the room. Damn you, Jimin!

"I'm sorry." I heard her speak up.

"You've apologize enough already, Seulgi." I refuse to face her again. I just felt embarrass with the things I've said earlier. I felt her move closer to me. Fuck! Why didn't I notice her moving earlier? She reach for my hands.

"I'm sorry that it's not gonna go your way, again." She said beside me and that made me face her. too close. I see her smirked before going closer. "Don't ever think that after hearing those words from you, you'll still be able to convince me to just be friends with you." She whispered in my ear. Damn! She's giving me shivers