A Warm Place

XXVI Reminiscence 2 -side Hiori-

--I first met that man, Kashima Masayuki, 17 years ago.

Since I met Tsubaki, I had been able to spend every day with happiness, and my days had felt so complete. However, with Father's referral, a university student became my private tutor out of the blue; that was Kashima. At a glance, he looked like an agreeable youth who would be popular among girls. He is the son and heir of a rapidly growing enterprise.

I had told Father that I did not need a private tutor, but Father didn't lend me even an ear. So, that man came to supervise me a few times a week. I thought that learning under him would be bothersome at most, but Kashima would persistently tag me along anywhere I go. He would talk about trivial things while I'm studying, and he would invite me out whenever I'm on break. Naturally, I wasn't interested in all that. I refused him, and I ignored about those matters altogether.

But that day... it's frustrating me, as much as I hate to even to remember about it.

That man... he assaulted me.

Going against a man who was much taller than a female middle school student proved to be futile. My resistance was in vain.

I feel nausea and vertigo hitting me just by remembering it. At that time, I thought of biting off my own tongue to commit suicide.

--But, her voice rang true in my head, granting me the aspiration to keep living.

'Hiori.'

Along with her voice, her innocent smile played back in my head. She was slightly foolish, yet kinder than anyone. She was my most important, beloved girl. I wanted to be by her side forever, and that was the reason I refused to die, no matter how painful it was.

Tsubaki, was my everything.

That was why I was afraid that she would learn about that matter. I was scared more than anything that she would come to hate me.

That was why, I had hidden it from her.

I had been proficient at hiding my own feelings for a long time, and I was used to telling lies. But, she still noticed the small changes in me. She was usually obtuse, but she would always be perceptive during such moments. I hated that part of her. Lying to her awfully pained my heart, but it was still better than being hated, I thought. Thus, I endured.

......I even made a promise that I didn't intend to fulfill. It would be all right as long as she didn't know, that was I thought.

--But eventually, she learned about everything, and the promise was broken.

Nonetheless, she had stayed with me. Even when I told her my doubts about keeping the new life in my womb, she was by my side, supporting me. As long as she was with me, I believed that I could overcome anything.

But, I wonder how much I had let her spoil me. I wonder how much I had let her feel sad and hurt.

----And then, the punishment came.

I'm going to the garden to meet Tsubaki like always, and I find her sitting, well-hidden at the usual spot. Usually, she would notice me approaching and wave her hand. But this time, she remains looking towards the ground. Maybe she's sleeping, yes, like the time when we first met. But, how wrong I was. As I approach her, the strange spectacle comes to my notice.

"Tsubaki...?"

I doubt my eyes. It's like I'm watching a horrible nightmare. Her abdomen is deep red, and there are dark reddish spots all over her body. She looks ghastly pale, and her breathing is ragged. A distinctive pair of scissors, tainted with a dark red liquid, is lying next to her.