Can't Sleep With You

1

Days like this were normal. Minghao waking up at early hours in the morning, impossible to fall asleep after. He usually only sleeps for 2 hours, sometimes he doesn't even sleep at all. Just like now, it was 2am, and minghao was laying in his bed, wide awake. He's tried everything, pills, alcohol, nothing works.

The one thing that calms him down, is singing. So, he started to sing. It was the only thing that relaxed him enough to maybe, just maybe fall asleep. Then, his thoughts took control of him. Anxiety, worrying, pure sadness filled his head.

You're not enough

You'll never be enough

Nobody loves you

You're extremely needy

You make people miserable

You clearly don't care

Attention seeking

You ruin people

He'll never love a piece of shit like you

He doesn't love you back

Every insult his head could create filled his mind. He didn't even realize when he started to cry, he just did. Minghao covered his mouth with his hand, knowing the walls are thin and that the guys might hear him cry. He didn't want anyone to comfort him, he didn't want anybody to see him in this state of mind. But the one thing he did want, was Jun. He'll give up anything if he could be with Jun, but he doesn't love him, nobody does.

Then, he heard footsteps by the hallway. Four? Five? At least five people. Probably the vocal unit just coming to bed from practice. If it was the vocal unit though... Then dokyeom...

As Minghao was just processing his thoughts, his roommate, dokyeom, opened the door. Minghao instantly hid under the blankets, pretending to be asleep. Luckily, dokyeom just went straight to bed, not even glancing at minghao. He was still crying, muffling it the best he could. The tears ran down his face, old ones drying and caking to his cheeks.

Apparently, he's not very good at hiding his emotions. He heard a quiet ' Minghao?' from the other side of the room, from dokyeom's bed. He didn't respond, only diving deeper in the blankets. Footsteps slowly walked towards him, each time dokyeom's gentle foot hit the ground, minghao would flinch.

"Minghao? You okay?"
He sat at the edge of the bed, pulling down the corner of Minghao's blanket. Minghao let him,tears in his eyes.

"Hey, it's okay, I'm here"
Minghao looked up at him, his eyelashes wet from tears.

"You wanna talk about it when you calm down?"
Minghao nodded, grabbing dokyeom's wrist. He pulled him down to the bed, hugging him tight. Dokyeom smiled, hugging minghao back. He was still crying, hyperventilating quickly. But dokyeom's hands combing through his hair calmed him.

"You okay to talk know?"

Minghao nodded, not once looking at dokyeom.

"I... How are you sure J-Junhui loves me how I love him? He's... He's..."
Minghao trailed off, breath becoming heavy again. Dokyeom patted Minghao's head.

"I've seen the way you look at each other, I can tell he loves you, more then you think."

Minghao pinched his eyes closed, trying to stop his tears. Dokyeom wiped some of them away with his sleeve, smiling at minghao.

"Are you tired?"
Minghao just nodded, eyes still closed.
"Try to sleep, I know it's hard for you, but crying can make you tired."
Minghao nodded again, hugging dokyeom tight.