Xiao Zhan ( English version )

Xiao Zhan Part 1

It's 8 pm. That's what says in the clock. So he should be here anytime now. In that empty house Yibo could hear the tap of the clock clearly. It was just like his heart. Nothing else could remain in his mind. Only that he would arrive any time now. So it was clear and loud.

" tuh "

He heard something outside the door. Was it him? His heart started to race. He got up and walked to the door. He was hurring. He didn't want to make him wait. Not for a ten seconds.

With pounding heart he opened the door and there was nothing. Only the cold wind at night. Only the big tree before the house that was being handled by the heavy wind.

He is not here. Ah!.. He is not here yet.. Ah!. Thank god he is not here yet.

This was the same thing that happens at 8 pm every night. It starts at 4 or five clock. When Yibo starts to count the minutes left for 8. As the minute by minute goes all other thoughts in his minds get silent. Just after 7 he cannot do anything and think anything than wait in the living room.

He has to wait for him in the living room. He has to open the door for him tight away. Otherwise he would get angry.

Is everyone like this? Is this how every relationship is? That other person's arrival makes you scared ? That other person's arrival feels like a huge ordeal that you need to be ready for.

Well Yibo doesn't wonder things like that. He never question his relationship. He knows he doesn't have a right too. That person was so good to someone like him. That person was the only one with him when he was bed ridden. Only one who nursed him back to health. He had done so much for someone like him. A burden.

A burden. Something that would have been better if it was not here. If it was not born.

He had done so much for something like him. So Yibo doesn't have a right to question his relationship. To question the things he does to him.

Yibo would only accept whatever he does to him. Whatever his husband does to him. Whatever Xiao Zhan does to him.

Yes. That was his husband's name. Xiao Zhan.

Xiao Zhan was such a great man. He was once a rich man. Powerful man with a business. But everything fell down. Yibo doesn't know how his business went bankrupt and how he ended up being a office worker in someone else's company. But Xiao Zhan told him it was all because him. Him as Yibo.

That accident left Yibo bedridden for a whole year. When he opened his eyes a year has passed and memories of that year and the twenty something years before that were gone.

Xiao Zhan later told him that because he was with him everyday in hospital caring for him, doing for him that Xiao Zhan didn't have time to work in the office. And because of that his bussiness fell apart.

But Xiao Zhan was so kind that he still didn't leave him. Xiao Zhan was so kind that even if he lost his bussiness because of him , even if life was half destroyed because of him he still did everything to get him healed.

He got him transferred to the hospital in the village that they grew up together just because he thought that the familiar place would speed up his recovery. Xiao Zhan was so kind that he left the life in the city all for him.

Yibo knows Xiao Zhan had done so much for him. Yibo knows that he had destroyed Xiao Zhan's life. So he would accept it all. All his mean words. All his anger. All his yelling. He would accept it all and would never asks himself if he deserve more than this.

" knock knock "

He is here.

Yibo opens the door for him with a smile. He has to smile. Otherwise he will yell at him for destroying his mood too. But he knows Xiao Zhan would not smile back. Not even act as he saw him.