The Doctor, The Pain and The Audacity of Shane

21

Sebastian didn't get far.
To be more clear, he made it just around the corner until his body almost collapsed in the tension. He found hold at the wall of Pierre's General Store and leaned his whole weight against the stone while his shaking fingers tried to fumble the medication open.
His wrist was still bleeding, even thou he didn't break up the cabinet with his hands, and in his chest burned the hot shame of getting more and more aware of what he had turned into now - goddammit, what had gotten into him? Why did his first reaction had been a try to seduce Harvey - not even in an elegant way - and not finding an excuse why he needed some of those medicaments right now? Now he was a thief, and even worse, he was a slut. If Harvey would want, he could get him in huge trouble because of that.
Sebastian took the double amount of what he usually took and retched the pills down without any water. Please, he silently prayed to those little white spheres, please make it all disappear, like you usually do.
He was depending on Shane to distract Harvey for a while, for whatever reason they now had been mad onto each other. He didn't care as long as he got away with his medicine.
At least, a few moments later - Sebastian had lost all senses of time - he felt that shaking stopping and new energy rushing thorugh his body. It was a relieving feeling. Those pills never failed on him, and they made everything so much more easy! Why did Sam want him to stop them?
Oh god, Sam.
Sebastian felt his pupils widening.
He shouldn't come to know about this, never ever! What was he supposed to think of his boyfriend?
Tears were rushing into his eyes. In the name of goodness, he had been ready to cheat on his boyfriend just to fulfill his desires! Was it worth it all?
With his mind on the right path, Sebastian sadly came to the wrong conclusion.
He felt new energy rushing through his body, caused by the medicine he took, and started to stroll homewards while he pulled out his phone and dialed a certain number. Please, he send a prayer into the nothingness, let it still be up to date.
"Yeah?", a husky voice picked up, "Mr. Sebastian?"
"Hey, pal", he mumbled into the phone, "Listen. I don't have much time. I need a new load."
"... oh yeah, of course." He heard the other voice cleaning their throat. "Mr. Sebastian, we once again wanted to apologize for the inconveniences today. We had an... incident this morning. We promise that it won't ever happen again. So, how can we help you? What to you want, my friend?"
Sebastian took a deep breath and digged a hand in his messy, wet hair.
"To forget."

When he reached his home, he just wished to run into nobody. Luckily, his mother wasn't behind her counter anymore, the shop must've been closed already. Apparently, his mother was somewhere in the kitchen, loudly discussing with his stepfather - again.
Quickly he scurried down the stairs into his room, the dark, cold basement.
"Seb! Thank god you are alright!"
He flinched when the first thing that greeted him in his very own room was the voice of Sam.
"Sam!", he gasped, "Why are you still here?"
The other boy, who had been sitting on his coach before, got onto his feet. Sam walked over to him, put his hands around his chin and softly stroked over Sebastian's cheeks.
"Because I was worried for you", he announced quietly, "Seb, fuck, you haven't been yourself for a whole while now... just because of the stuff you've been taking! Now tell me, where have you been? What have you done? I've been dying of worries!"
Sebastian blinked at his boyfriend - hopefully, his glare wasn't as glassy as before anymore.
"... Sam", he finally avoided the question, leaned forward and placed a kiss on his friend's lips, "Did I ever tell you how much I freaking love you?"
"Awww Seb... that's sweet but..."
Sebastian didn't let him finish his sentence, he carefully shoved his hands off his chin, lowered the head and kissed his boyfriend's neck.
"You mean the world to me", he mubled against his skin while he got lower, licked over his larynx down to his clavicle. His hands grasped into the neck of his shirt and pulled it down, so he could reach his chest.
Sam groaned.
"Seb", he gasped, "Oh my..."
He wrapped his arms around the shoulders of Sebastian and shoved one hand into his hair.
"But you didn't answer my question..."
"Mhm", Seb hummed while his hand wandered down, wrapped around Sam's belt, soon to be followed by his head as he went down on his knees. "Do you really wanna talk about this now? I'm not in the mood..."
He knew that he couldn't avoid the question forever, and that it was wrong and unfair against Sam... but he needed time to think about an excuse. He wasn't ready to talk about the happenings right now.
"Seb you fucking bastard", Sam hissed through clenched teeth, "Get on you feet again and answer my question..."
He didn't sound like he meant it at all. Sebastian just knew how to turn his friend on, even though they had already been pretty busy last night - before the incident with his overdose had happened.
"You seem a little... tensed", he growled up to his boyfriend as he opened his belt, completely calm. Damn, this boosters really gave some inner peace to his plagued mind. "Why don't you take the chance to... relax a bit?"
He had pulled Sam's pants a but down and rubbed his hands over his boxershorts. It didn't took long until he felt Sam getting harder.
"How do you even have the blood to think in your brain anymore?"
"I hate you Sebastian."
One hand digged into his hair, Sam softly pulled the head of his partner back and made him look up. As their eyes met, they shared a dirty grin. Then Sam sighed and turned his head away.
"Dammit", he mumbled, "I'm so hot..."
"You indeed are." Sebastian lowered his head again, but his friends hand remained on the back of his head, "Let's see what we can do against that..."
Only a few minutes later, none of them even thought about talking anymore. But Sebastian's thoughts still rushed restlessly through his head.
One more serious talk he successfully avoided -but this wouldn't work forever.
But right now, it had saved the moment, but at what cost? It only strengthened the picture he drew of himself, what he truely was inside - a fucking slut.