Sandra sat on the old beat-up couch. When she and Bernie first purchased it the soft warm gray of the couch was pristine. The edges a bit tattered with age Sandra checked her watch yet again, picking at the frazzled corners. She should have been home this morning. Sandra sighed, drank the last of the tea, and was making her way to bed when the front door quietly swung open.
Turning quickly, she could see Bernie holding her heels in her hands, trying to walk quietly as she stumbled drunkenly into the living space. Her small frame teetering, she untimely collided with the coffee table, fell face first onto the couch and landed hard on the wood floor.
"Jesus Bernie, what the hell is going on?!" Sandra made her way over and picked up her wife.
"Ya know, jus havin some fuuun with the ladiezz!"
"Seriously, all night? You four were gone for three days, only giving me updates via Snapchat, and then you come home plastered almost twenty-four hours late... What happened to being home yesterday?"
"Iz been hard... Your far way... I miss my Sandy." She wined
"Really, you and all of this" Sandra waved her hand between them "Is because I'm far away. For fucks sake Bernadette. You are the one who leaves before I get out of the shower and comes home at 3 am, drunk off your ass, and it's all my fault?! It seems a bit more like you're the one running away from rather than toward me!"
"Thiz iz whom I am! You know that from when we firss met." Bernie tries to stand up but stumbles back onto the couch and slumps, breathing heavily.
"But we aren't 20-somethings anymore! We have a home, careers... and... I thought we wanted to start our family..." Sandra crosses her arms, the look of quiet disappointment making its way across her face.
"Mmm, yeeeaa a bebe would be niccc."
Sandra turns and walks out "Sleep here. We are going to finish this in the morning."
----------------------------
"Sandy... wake up..."
"Sandy, please, I'm sorry."
Bernie gently shakes Sandra holding a tray propped on the bed with the other hand. She bought two cups of coffee and some croissants. Presumably as a peace offering. Sandra rolls her eyes and sits up.
"Do you even remember what we talked about last night? Why you are sorry?" She waved to the croissants and coffee." She locks eyes with Bernie, waiting.
"Not much. But I do remember you being upset with me coming home so late."
"You're damn right!" she sits up, jostling the coffee. "You didn't come at all yesterday. Or the day before. Or the day before that! No calls, no texts, just some incoherent snapchat messages with pictures of you and that... girl. Then you come stumbling into the house, blasted and what?! Am I supposed to be happy that my wife has been gone for four days without telling me it was going to be four days? We are not fucking teens anymore Bernie. What the hell?"
"Look... I I I meant to call, But I—"
"But nothing! I am your goddamn wife and you didn't think it was important to, oh I don't know, let me know you were fucking high tailing it with that little scamp for three extra days."
Bernie's face contorts into one of annoyance "You haven't been a a a a bbarrel of laughs your self Sandra!" She pulls and twists her fingers in her hands trying to calm the stutter that always came out in full when she was agitated.
Sandra stands quickly, sending not only her legs over the bed but the coffee and croissants clattering to the floor also. "No Bernie. I haven't..." she sighed. "I know I haven't. I'll be the first to admit that! But I am the only one doing anything around here!"
"You you you have been sleeping all the time. No more mmmovie nights. No more sitting in the backyard and talking for hours... No more late nights just lllooking into each other's eyes. Where did you go?"
Sandra folds her arms and leans into Bernie's face"Where anyone would when their wife suddenly starts taking a liking to a random girl she just met!! What were you two doing?! How long have you been doing it?" she sands back, shifting her weight so she is standing ith her hip poking out and arms across her chest.
"What?! First off, I would nnnever cheat on you if that's what you are trying to say! Second, she likes going out to have fun. All you wwwwant to do is work and and and stay in for a quiet night. What the the the hell happened to having fun together?"
"Right, because working to pay for our house, bill –"
"I never said—"
"and the adoption we both wanted is such a bad thing! I thought you were my rock. I thought you wanted a family with me. I wanted that..." she curls into herself and turns slightly away from Bernie. A tea falls down her cheek staining the satin of her dusty rose pajama top.
"Wait... you wanted... that... What's this wanted?" Bernie looks around, hands held to either side.
Sandra sat back on the bed. Tears cascading from her eyes. Bernie froze her breath held tight in her chest.
"I am... I am going to stay with my mom for a while... Till we can figure things out. I already called the agent and they have put the adoption on hold." Sandra sighed "We have one month to figure this" she gestures between the both of them "out before they will find another family."
Bernie looks at her in shock. Her hands quiver as she pulls them to her chest and tries not to cry.
"So... You made all these choices without me?! When? Why?!"
Sandra snaps her head to lock her eyes with Bernie's "You were gone for four days without telling where you were going or for how long. If it weren't for those stupid snaps I would have called the cops. When do you think?! It's already done. I am leaving in a few hours."
"No sandy! We agreed never to separate! No matter what happened!" tears streamed down Bernies face as she tried to hold on to Sandra's shoulders. Sandra pulls away.
"I thought that too... when you started leaving without telling me beforehand, staying away from me as long as you could, and not inviting me to go with you; Bernie, we haven't even started on the nursery. You were so excited, and we got all the stuff! But... its like the day it all got here you left... like... you were only agreeing to the adoption to mollify me. I figured it was already done... we haven't talked, not really talked in months... My mom will be here by eleven. I need to finish packing."
Bernie crumpled. It was only now the luggage bag, most of which full and waiting, on her side of the bed came into view.
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What Happened to Bernie
चिक-लिटWith the new house, starting a career, and adoption in the works, Bernadette starts to understand the responsibility and pressure of it all. As she runs and tries to find who she is and how it will all fit together she unintentionally pulls away fro...
