death is the only ending for the trash queen

Part 16

How was she supposed to cope with this?

Alver walked silently at her side and within her chaotic thoughts, she really couldn't understand what was happening. She assumed that Alver had something of dire importance to say for him to potentially offend their hosts by leaving breakfast early. After all, the one thing she knew better than anything else about her husband was that he prioritized his external appearance above all else. He was a politically minded fake and he had nothing to gain and lots to lose about offending the Henituse family.

It was her shock at his breach of etiquette that actually caused her to agree so easily to begin with. And while she had left Penelope in Ron's competent care, she hadn't intended to leave Penelope alone at all after yesterday. It was also a surprise that Penelope chose to stay.

It made sense though. Penelope had been the one so eager to meet her maternal family. Of course she'd want to actually spend time with them.

What didn't make sense was Alver. He must have an important motivation that required swift action to be so rude.

Yet Alver was silent and walked with the gait of one who was in no rush. They were headed in the general direction of their rooms but there wasn't even a clear intention there, as though they could go anywhere that Cale requested.

Despite everything and every foul suspicion, Cale was grateful.

She still felt nauseous from sitting at that table.

She'd never been good at managing meals there. It wasn't even her act that caused her so much distress. The happy family eating in front of her that she had no part in. The nervous stares as they awaited her next misbehavior. The nausea and unease from wondering just how long before she could finally leave.

She'd usually make excuses about the food being nasty, throw a fit, retreat as quickly as possible, and go hungry. But in her confusion over... various matters, Cale hadn't been able to figure out who to be while sitting at the table.

If she was Alver's 'loving wife', that felt too mortifying. If she ran away in a fit, she'd abandon Penelope. So she'd been frozen, nauseous and unsettled. She reflected now that she'd wound up abandoning Penelope regardless.

Alver's impulsive decision suited her fine for the time being. She hadn't been sure how much more she could tolerate. He'd unknowingly rescued her from her spiraling emotions. He'd been useful, just this once.

Cale leaned into the warmth of his arm to stabilize herself as they walked, taking in the air that was free from the stifling pressure of that dining room.

It felt good. Freeing.

She let him lead him wherever he was planning on going in silence as she used the time to collect herself. She just hadn't properly prepared herself for how it would feel to be there again. She really hadn't expected it to choke her so thoroughly.

Alver's meandering route took them past the gardens. Cale looked out onto the perfectly manicured greenery and felt a strange fluttering in her heart.

She remembered a day she'd rather forget.

The air smelled sweet. It was a relief after the stifling air in the ballroom. It wasn't the stares or the audience that got under her skin. Cale could perform well for any audience with an audacious grin adorning her ruby lips.

It was the nauseating greed permeating the air like a miasma, choking her and any who could smell its stench. The lying smiles that hid the cruelest of intentions.

Cale could remember cruel smiles such as that. From the moment her mother passed away, every smile was fake. Her fathers shaky and watery smile as he broke down. The twisted and greedy smiles of the extended family as they attempted to use her as their pawn. The strained smiles of the servants as they watched the pitiful child.