Bittersweet - aidan g. imagines

THE BRIDGE

- notes!!

AIDAN GALLAGHER| AGE : 19
( ^ ) ANGST

FEM READER!!

ENJOY!

My ears rang loudly as I walked along the sidewalk, reaching the bridge loved by tourists. The beautiful bridge with red detail.

The high bridge over waves of water. Walking up here was relaxing and calming. The last time I'd been here was two years ago.

I was dragged away. By a rescue team, because my mother "needed me" fucking hysterical.

But today I was back. She couldn't call a rescue team, because it was nearly midnight and she was sleeping by now.

I've waited too long. Far too long. So by the time I reached the middle of the bridge, I knew I was ready, the sidewalk was empty.

The roads full, of racing cars traveling across the ocean to go on a holiday, I walked a while longer.

Taking in the scenery of the dark sky washed over with stars, the lighting and the sound of the wind, the way it blew my baby hairs.

By the time I felt I'd walked enough I was far over the middle. I ran my fingers over the red bridge the cold iron making me feel a sense of satisfaction and freedom.

I was free, I was finally away.

But than I saw him.

My hand was running along the iron when I noticed his hand doing the same, he was standing on the ledge. His emerald colored eyes facing the waves.

His hair blew in the wind, his loose shirt flowing too. His face containing scars in certain areas and his arms as well.

His expression was empty, cheeks stained with tears, hands stained red his loose shirt stained red in certain areas.

I looked away standing beside him.

He wouldn't dare to say anything maybe he noticed my arms too, or maybe he hadn't noticed me.

I glanced at him from the side of my eye, he was beautiful, almost too beautiful. Was he here for the same reason?

Was he hurting? Like me?

Was he sick of the cutting? The self inflicted pain? Was it not enough for him anymore?

Does he feel all I feel?

Was he thinking the same thoughts as me?

I wanted to wince when his shirt stained even more, he seemed to get woozy, he was so close to falling over and falling into the waves.

But I felt myself grabbing his shirt. I stopped him.

He seemed to snap out of his trance, blinking rapidly as he stared at me. "Why would you do that?" He mumbled his voice cracking.

"I couldn't watch you do that." I mumbled and suddenly I felt very guilty because I was here for the same reason.

I was also here to end my life.

"Why are you here?" He asked, in a low mumble, I felt myself freeze, my body beginning to shake.

Had he not noticed me?

"Same reason as you." I mumbled. Watching as his green eyes fluttered all over the place.

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Sorry- I thought someone had sent you." He mumbled his eyes finally meeting mine.

I stared at him slightly trying to find the right words, if he was like me. He probably wouldn't listen to me.

He'd probably smile at them, a feeling that someone cares, and he'd say thank you. But he probably wouldn't believe them.

He would probably process them and even though he hears them he would block them out and believe no one understands and no one cares.

I am like this too. They could all say, "I'm here for you." Or "it's okay." "Don't say sorry, it's not your fault." The words would echo in my head.

I'd smile, cry and love them even more, but I wouldn't believe their words, I'd dream of engulfing them in hugs and in hundreds of thank you's.

But I still wouldn't believe their words, and I probably wouldn't change my view of the world, the view of myself.

They could call me beautiful and adore me.

But I wouldn't believe it.

Because my brain decided to be so fucked up that I can't grow. My self esteem is worse than ever.

So yes. I'd love them. And there's a chance that they'd love me too. But, I still wouldn't believe it, because I genuinely believe that they are too perfect to even put up with my many mistakes.

I genuinely think that.

Which is why I can't find words to speak to him. Because I know he wouldn't believe them.

I gave him a slight glance before speaking up. "Do you still want to? To jump?" I spoke, because I knew he wouldn't care for my words.

"Maybe, but I'm too scared." He spoke up. Grabbing my arm loosely in a cry for help.

I nodded staring into his eyes yet again.

"I get that." I mumbled, admiring him.

"So then, why come here?" He asked staring at me, his red stained hands smudging onto my arms.

"I had hopes, that I wouldn't be a coward this time." I mumbled, staring at the ground, he seemed to be doing the same.

I looked up to see him nod slightly.

"I just want someone to come and shoot me because I'm too much of a coward to do it myself." He mumbled.

I looked at him grabbing his other hand.

"Me too, me too." I mumbled looking at him. He bit at his bottom lip slightly. Looking me in the eyes.

"I'm Aidan." He stated. His voice still low. Green eyes scanning around.

"I'm y/n." I mumbled, he nodded. The sky now darker than ever, the only light came from the moon. The wind howled and the waves roared.

And that was all.